Me and My Temperamental

Post-dinner thoughts

2011-06-14T22:01:00.004+08:00

I know I know. I totally failed the 30 days challenge thing haha well who'd expect me to be able to complete it successfully anw. But I'll definitely try to complete it. In about er.. 10 yrs' time? Yea probably. Must. Stay. Optimistic.

LOL.

Anyway, well I'm here coz I need to blog out some stuff that's causing me to feel sad. Basically what happened was I tried to be nice and organized this mini celebration dinner thing for a colleague who's getting married. Well it went alright except for that only 4 people ordered something to eat, and 3 people left early (the team only has 9 ppl in total). And basically I've been picking up hints from a couple of individuals indicating that they might not be so willing to attend this kind of thing.

So I end up feeling like I've done something really extra and redundant.

So I started wondering how come the atmosphere then was so different as compared to when I go out w my friends, even though everyone are really nice people. Then I realise that good teammates =/= good friends.

Good teammates can work well and be super productive together, producing impressive results etc. But that doesnt mean they like to hang out with each other on a more personal level like just spending time talking about stuff other than work over a cup of drink. Well, sometimes that does happen lah, but going out together? Definitely not possible.

And so I thought, if this is how I'm going to become when I start working in future, then I'm going to become such a no-lifer. Ok maybe not to the extent of no life but imagine facing the same people every single day and they're nothing more than colleagues.

Ok I'm digressing alr.

My main point was, organizing this kind of things seem really really extra and redundant and money + time wasting for the perms and I dont think I should do it again. Such things might seem lovely in school context where you celebrate someone's bday or something. But it gets super diluted when you go out into society I guess. Coz most people just want to live their own lives and can't really be bothered about yours.
It's lacking warmth.

I'm digressing again.

Ya the main thing is, I dont think I should organize another team lunch/dinner/wtv. But I think I should on the day tt the other temp in the team is leaving. But.. Idk.

Sigh.

29. Five weird things that you like

2011-05-30T10:14:00.002+08:00

Uh ok this is quite hard. First, I need to define what the things I like are. Then I actually have to figure out whether they’re weird. Ok let’s try.

1. I like shopping alone. Ok not necessarily shopping, but I like walking around in malls by myself when I’m looking for something I want to get. Or to window shop. Coz somehow when I shop with someone, I’ll feel slightly restricted. Oh but I’m totally fine with shopping with others when I’m not particularly looking out for anything, that’ll be called walking around with company. Oh not to forget I like walking around malls with someone, doing nothing but talking about anything and everything. Haha.

2. I like walking around places myself. But this is highly dependent on my mood and place coz erm. I might tend to get lonely when I see something exciting and there’s nobody to share it with. But generally I value my time alone. And I guess since I don’t really have the habit of going out of my way to visit places like parks by myself, I end up just randomly walking around malls (esp JP) on the way home. It’s nice coz it either helps me clear my head of whatever unpleasant things I don’t want to think about, or allows me to slowly ponder over some thoughts while letting the atmosphere of the mall wash over me.

3. I like big empty offices. Hahaha this is what I found out only recently when perms frm my workplace go for company lunch etc. It’s especially fab when the weather’s all stormy/cooling and I’m at my office desk, all wrapped up in my jacket and doing my stuff.

4. I like to rewatch movies over and over again. Well, at least those movies that I find acceptable/entertaining. Oh this applies more even more to books, I think. I can read the same storybook over and over again and still not get sick of it. My favourite genres of books are fantasy books. I still remember my dad tried to get me hooked on those mystery Nancy Drew books when I was young. Well they were pretty interesting, but I guess I like fantasy stories more haha. Totally living in my own world, I know. Lol.

5. I like watching people’s eyes. Ok I know that sounded weird haha. What I meant was I like observing where people look by watching their eyes. Ok I guess this can be pretty creepy behavior on my part but it’s interesting and I do try to be as discrete as possible. And of course, I can only stare at people with the -.- look when I catch them staring at my you-know-where. Most of them don’t even know that I’m glaring at them while they’re so focused on staring at me. In fact I think this habit of mine was born from that lol. =(

Ok yep that’s it. It’s pretty normal actually, I can’t really think of things that I like that are weird-weird. Only different-weird like those above I guess. But I think those that are listed above are pretty common actually. Lol.

As usual, I have nothing to do in office. Here’s saying HELLO to all those reading this post coz it has come to my knowledge that my blog is not as private as I thought. =X Haha. But oh well, it doesn’t matter. =) I’m actually typing this on MS Words so that it won’t seem so obvious in the office hahaha. ^^

Anyway, we celebrated YJ’s bday on Saturday! Happy Birthday and welcome to the club, YJ! ^^ Haha I know you love the card, because I’m actually quite impressed with it also. =P HEH. Eh I made it from 1.30am – 4am that morning leh. I do deserve some credit for it! Haha. =) But well, we went for ramen lunch and it was not bad! Just that I needed to drink lots of water from the saltiness and I forgot to order half-serving. Plus Weng kept on saying that the original outlet is better. Hmm I might try the original outlet, but I highly doubt I’m going back to the one at Taka anymore. =X But well anyways, it was a nice afternoon spent together with the peeps! :D Hope to meet up again soon!

Yep after we split up Weng and me spent a loooooong time looking for the post office in ION. Srsly, it’s a really bad location for a post office? If they can’t afford to give SingPost a better location, why not just don’t house SingPost in ION lah, I don’t think people actually think about mailing something when they visit ION right? Unless that branch is specially for the shop owners or something.

Yea then after that I went to shop at JP! (you can see this is how I came up with the 5 points in the above challenge question. Lol.) And I made the decision to buy this pair of heels that I’ve been eyeing for at least 2 – 3 months! It’s white with a black ribbon in front. It was a tad bit high for complete comfort but it looked so pretty and cute! Got it for 28.80bucks. But when I brought it home, my mum and sis both said that it wasn’t as nice as they thought it would be (coz I smsed them saying that I bought a pair of shoes before I reached home) and that white shoes make my feet look even darker than they already are + it’s harder to match with clothes. =( Yea I was pretty sad about it, considering that I made the decision to buy it only after so long and such. But well, they went w me to JP the next day (Sunday) and we went to look for nicer designs coz the shop allows for shoe changes as long as the original ones are still in perfect condition. So yep we changed it for this shorter pair of cream colour heels with a polka dotted ribbon at the side of the ankle. I thought that the original pair was nicer but both my sis and mum thought otherwise. =( And well, sad to say but I actually have more confidence in their taste than my own so, yep. =) Coz the pair they have in the shop wasn’t in perfect condition so I placed an order and am waiting for their sms for me to go collect. =D

30. One thing you're excited for

2011-05-27T14:26:00.009+08:00

Ok I'm finally getting down to doing this coz I'm really bored at work. There's really interesting going on (for me at least). And since the first qn is just so damn tough I'm gna follow RachKam and do starting from the last qn. =D

Ok something I'm excited for. I was going to say uni, until I realised that I have this perfect ans after going out w (part of) CTG ytd. Ok actually it was after the train ride on the way to meet them.

If you're frm CTG and you're reading this, I think you might knw what I'm talking about by now. ;)

Hahahahahaha shallow as it is, I'm actually excited about this cute guy who's interning at my workplace starting this week! =P Ok this is making me sound totally desperate, shallow and whatnot. But still. C'mon, it's been a really long time since I've seen a cute guy! And with the potential to become part of my social circle somemore! Haha. Well too bad the guy isnt interning in my team but since I know the temp in that team... Close enough. =P

Mok, you're not the only one seeing cute guys. xD
And HF, too bad I really think he's attached.

Well I dont have any intention of going aft him in a bgr manner anw. Just.. Eyecandy hahaha. ^^ Perks of my job lol. Somemore he's going to be around all the way till I stop working so, woohoo~ Haha. Actually there's another intern in another team who's quite good looking also. But the one I'm supposedly "excited" about is more friendly so, too bad. But aiyah I'm just joking lah. We just happen to have a nice conversation on the train and I just hope I can gain another friend. =) The looks are just an additional bonus. xD

Speaking of interns, did I mention that the intern who just joined my team is giving me stress? As in, she's not actively giving me pressure like keep on acting like my boss and breathing down my neck or anything like that. In fact she's a really nice person and very friendly also. Think it's just my own mentality/personality problem lah. =X

Ok I really hope these interns never ever find my blog. Ever. If not, I'm dead. But well, if you're one of the interns I mentioned up there and you're reading this, I want you to understand that I mean no harm ok. Those are just some of the crazy thoughts I have that I HAPPEN TO blog out. If you cannot stand it then probably we wont be very close friends in future either so... Ya.

Yep ok, just now my team head dated me for lunch hahaha. Went for Subway! Like finally lol. After eating Quiznos last night, I thought I preferred Subway. But after eating Subway, I can't decide b/w the two heh. I think I love the Quiznos cookie but I love Subway for having a wider variety of choices! =) But anw, both are good so yep, a recommendation frm me! =)

Anw, during the "date", my team head actually talked to me about alot of stuff, from work to personal life. I think she wanted to find out how I thought about the team/e2i so far so I just gave her my honest opinions coz really, working in e2i, in V6 has been really enjoyable and I really honestly believe that I got the best temp position in the world. Although I grumble alot about my work, esp during recent days, I wouldnt exchange it for any other temp position, even if the pay is like 10bucks/hr or something. The work, although not distributed to me, is intriguing and interesting. And I really want to stay on to see what more I can learn and experience. So hopefully hopefully hopefully I'll be getting some work soon coz well I feedback to my team head that there's nothing much for me to do at the moment. Anw Mok, if you're reading this, this is why I'm hesitating about quitting early. Honestly, if my job sucked, I wouldn't even have extended my contract you see. =)

Well my team head also talked to me about alot of stuff like learning and growing up, knowing how to differentiate b/w learning the right from the wrong things, being more sensitive and aware of the things around me, etc. I actually told her that one of the problems I'm facing is low self-esteem/confidence. Coz I realise that I always look to other people for affirmation when it comes to decision making; whether the decision is something practical like what I should study, to things like is this the kind of person I want to/should become? Well I think that's just a problem that I have to think about and deal with myself. Coz I cant be babysat (is there such a word?) for the rest of my whole life and someday, I need to be able to stand on my own feet and be confident of being who I am, whoever that is. So yep, I guess this lack of confidence is actually part of my learning experience and honestly speaking, it's good that I'm aware of it. then at least I'll be able to face it and see what I can do about it. =) Ah this is one of the times when I realise that I'm still just a kid who's growing up. =D

Am I actually making sense?

I just received a highly irritating call frm a highly irritating JS. I think she's misunderstanding something (alot of things, maybe) and yet continues to refuse to listen to what exactly I'm saying. I think she thinks the world revolves around her. Srsly, so what if you're a PR and you urgently need a job. Hello. Everyone who comes here needs a job. I dont see why they can still be polite and appreciative of the help given to them while you're just coming here and demanding for things to be done solely for you. Srsly, if she continues to be like that, she might just become one of the cases which I'll turn away due to unreasonable attitude. =(

Ok sorry just a bit of ranting there. =(

Anw yep, back to happy things.
Yep I'm excited about university too! Not much at the moment, but I think that's coz I'm still working so, don't really have much time to think about university yet. But I know I'll be excited about it once I start attending those camps and all. And well, adrenaline rushes when I (just) realise that I havent sent the form P to confirm my acceptance. =X Haha shit I have to do it by tomorrow.

Eh shit now I have a lot of things that I'm excited about. I'm excited about all the upcoming events that my team has in the second week of June, esp this master class that my supervisor is organising. I'm excited about YJ's bday celebration tmr. I'm excited about my colleague's wedding and my team head said I can date her to go buy shoes if I need a new pair (I srsly dont have any nice shoes to wear for the wedding! Ok now I sound like I'm the bride. -.-) Haha yea so actually life's really happy and exciting right now. =) Lots of interesting things to look forward to!

Oh btw meeting up with Mok + Rach + Fang was pretty fun and interesting ytd. =) Had an awesome time with you guys I love you all to Pluto and back! =D I love how comfortable it feels and we're able to sit down and just talk/laugh about anything and everything. Sometime ago I was still thinking that my laughter has gotten less since idk when and I was feeling slightly sad about it. But hanging around you guys definitely brings the laughter and happiness back. Thank you peeps, you guys rock to the core. =D

220511

2011-05-22T23:55:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Just dropping by coz I really have nothing else to do online. Or offline. Just finished painting my toenails, I'm not very happy with the way they look coz there's zero design and

ah shit the second toenail accidentally touched a plastic bag and now the topcoat's slightly destroyed.

Ok anw I was saying there's zero design on my toenails and the colour isn't the best colour around. But I thought since I dont think I'd ever use tt colour on my hands, might as well use it on my toes to help hide my currently very ugly looking toenails. :(
Earlier on in the evening I was thinking that I've let my nails "rest" enough already and was thinking about how I should paint it. But ended up spending my evening watching Kungfu Panda (haha) and hence not enough time to do my nails. =X

Ah my eyes are quite tired I'm gng to sleep soon there's still work tmr. I havent book the place at FFT yet I hope there's still place for reservations. :(

And anw I've been thinking abit about the 5 ways to win my heart thing and I've come up with a few things. Well I'm not sure whether that's the way to win my heart but at least that's how I wish my future bf would be like hehe. =P

But I dont have time to blog abt it now so.... Sometime in the near future I guess?

My stomach's feeling weird.

Freezing Desert

2011-05-18T11:19:00.004+08:00

Heyyooo I'm blogging from work. =X Luckily nobody at work knows my blog. Ok fine almost nobody knows my blog/doesnt bother to come anymore wahahaha privacy. =) Haha I knw my blog's really pathetic now, the prev post's more than 1 month ago. Hey actually I'm suprised that it's not more than that coz it really feels like the last time I blogged was the starting of the year.

Ok enough gibberish.

Just some general updates:

1. Work was fine. Till recently. Somehow ever since I came back from holiday in China, my workflow has been so little it's pathetic. I know my workload has never been overbearing but currently it's srsly TOO little. The amount of time I've been spending on MLIA during office hours is becoming uncomfortable to live with. Feels like my team shouldn't have hired 2 temps when all they need is 1. -.- And I'm no longer learning anything due to so little work but I knw there's still alot of things I havent seen/experienced yet! I need more work.

OH I almost forgot to mention this. They changed the plant in front of my desk! Previously was this HUGE one that gave me shade + protection from the freezing aircon + privacy. But now it's changed to this mini one that robbed me of the comforts of my desk!! T_T Sadness ttm. I'm someone who prizes my environment alot after all. Maybe the change of plants changed my fengshui and hence my work has gotten less?! D=

2. I'm 19! Ok nothing much to be proud about aging haha. I was just reading the blogpost about me turning 18 last yr and it seemed so, full of fun and lots of people. this yr's was kind of, lonely. I still rmb it quite clearly. Specially wore the only dress I bought using my own moolah for the day, coming to work cheerfully, and ending up feeling so pathetic during lunch. Well at least Dorry and Yisin were there for me during lunch. =) And Candy rmbing + informing the other perm staff abt my bday was nice. =) Then headed off early from work to meet Huifang for dinner + a mini celebration. =) So generally it's just a low-toned day with tiny perks here and there.
Well of course my family + friends made up for it after that =D The bday balloon I got is still floating around in my room! Albeit very much deflated now haha. =)
And thanks to all those people who wished me via sms + fb. Really thank you frm the bottom of my heart, but somehow, it's just different. =X

Well, I can't say being 19 has been very happening. Well I know having my own income and everything is super cool and all but looking at the uni school fees is a humbling experience (really!). Ok work has been cool, in fact I love my work (at least before it started becoming so boring when there's nothing for me to do). But uni's coming up! =D I sealed my fate ytd when I officially accepted NUS FoS and rejected NTU Biological Sciences. Planning my day at the NUS FoS open house now and daydreaming abt uni life. Haha. I hope I've made the right choice. And yes, I know that from now on, my life as a 19 will definitely get more exciting.

Hello, last teenage year leh. Must make it exciting.

3. My family and I went to Beijing, China for holiday last week! =D Took one whole week's worth of leave. Totally heartache at the amount of pay I sacrificed for this. T_T But haha heck. It's a cool experience except on the 4th day when I felt unwell. Photos are up on fb! =D

Ok yep I think that's all for general updates. Somehow I feel that even though I put "ok enough gibberish" up there, the content following that line is still gibberish. =X

Anyway, I saw this thing on Yann's blog. It's supposed to be this 30-day Challenge thing where I'm supposed to ans 1 qn per day. So here's the list of qns:

1. Five ways to win your heart.
2. Something you feel strongly about.
3. A book you love.
4. Bullet your whole day.
5. Things you want to say to an ex.
6. Your views on mainstream music.
7. Five pet peeves.
8. What you ate today.
9. How important you think education is.
10. Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play.
11. Your family.
12. Five guys whom you find attractive.
13. Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it.
14. What you wore today.
15. Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality.
16. Something you always think “what if…” about.
17. Something that you’re proud of.
18. A problem that you have had.
19. Five items you lust after.
20. Your fears.
21. How you hope your future will be like.
22. Your academics.
23. Something that you miss.
24. Five words/phrases that make you laugh.
25. Something you’re currently worrying about.
27. A quote you try to live by.
28. Somewhere you’d like to move to or visit.
29. Five weird things that you like.
30. One thing you’re excited for.

Ahh it's quite hard to start coz the first qn is already slapping me with alot of qn marks. =X

Karma...?

2011-04-11T12:55:00.005+08:00

I know there's a saying that when everyone showcase their own pile of problems, we would gladly take our own pile back. But sometimes, just sometimes, I can't help but think that I seem to have that little bit more problems than some of the people around me. And it makes me think, why can't I be like them? Life should stop being such an asshole. Maybe it's karma from past life hmm.

-----

Went out w juniors on sat! :) Not alot of seniors turned up (not alot meaning 4) but it was fun to hand out with them anyway. Been a long time since I've interacted with anyone who's still in school. Honestly speaking, I don't really have that much nice memories of HC. My previous post still holds true. But I guess sometimes things need to have a good ending in order to leave a nice general impression. I've had a little bit of bitter overdose.

-----

I think I'm going to end up watching movie alone tmr night. Give myself a treat for having lived for so long. Shall go see what movies available later.

Post-As

2011-03-05T10:25:00.004+08:00

And hence, my JC life is truly over.

It's been a wild ride, full of ups and downs (mostly downs actly, with some quite extreme ups), twists and turns. I've felt priviledged at times, and deprived at times; felt super lucky to be in this school, and freaking suay the next moment. It's a mixture of a whole bunch of emotions that this school has brought me, even if those emotions are mostly conflicting.

The past 2 years have basically whacked me with all kinds of disappointments and hardship, and sent a a whole bunch of people my way for me to deal with. But what I appreciate is that among the tears I've shed, I've still managed to find laughter in certain corners of this oh-so-familiar school. And among the bunch of meanpokes and ridiculous people who try to make my life miserable or hurt/abandon me when I need them, I've found friends whom I know will be there for me for the rest of my life.

I wouldn't say my A level results are fabulous. In fact, to be honest, they're downright lousy. I've got some pretty serious resentment and angst hidden somewhere within myself. But I know better than to sulk in a corner and rot. Learning to take a step back has allowed me to see that life still goes on, even though this setback has caused me to lose myself momentarily. And after talking to certain people, I've realised that all the stress that I thought others were putting on me, were actually coming from myself. [Ah but that doesn't mean I've stopped disliking people for seeing me based on my achievements and results. I'll dislike this kind of people for life so better stay farfar away from me!]

In conclusion, I'm generally thankful for the experience that the past 2 years have brought me. I am consciously aware that I have matured/grown stronger from the experiences of the past 18+ years, especially after having the past few months of self-reflection. I hope that I'm facing life/the future with the right attitude, and maybe the future might just bring more joy than ever. =)

Lastly, I have certain people that I need to thank. I don't really know where to start heh.

Teachers: Thankyou so much for being so patient with me, even though I was such a difficult and lazy student. Thankyou for forgiving me and never giving up hope on me, encouraging me to continue to strive hard even when things seem so bleak at times. And thankyou for all the consultation sessions that you guys were willing to spend so that I can improve even that tiny little bit. Special mention goes to Mr Heng, who is always there with his wide smile and cheerful encouragements even on the saddest of days. =)

HCCO Tanbo + Tenboh: Life in JC wouldn't have been half as fun without you guys around! All the laughter we had, all the pain we shared, as well as all the hard + heart work we put in together to achieve those shining results; I'll keep them all inside my heart. You guys are one of the most amazing bunch of people I've met, seniors + peers + juniors alike. I've learnt a lot from you guys and thank you for being part of my HCCO life. =)

08S74 + Weisin: Thanks for being such nice seniors, and for introducing HC life to me haha. For all the tips, guidance, assurances and of course, encouragement and wishes of good luck! You guys are seriously the most friendly seniors I've ever met, and I'm glad for that fact. =) Thankyou for all the concern you guys have shown! =)

09S74: Haha thanks for being a bunch of fabulous classmates! You guys are the people who make me feel that I belong to 09S74, since we go through some of the most daunting times together. Thanks for the never ending encouragement and for being there for me when I'm being sad about bad grades. And also for being willing to spend time to teach me when I stupidly cannot grasp certain concepts. =) Special mention goes to CTG, TripSci gang, and T&T gang!

YJ + LW + NP: Hello you three. =) I know YJ said something about we shldnt be so exclusive but heck. Anw, I find it quite amazing that we actually became so close, despite all the differences b/w us. We've gone through some pretty interesting/ridiculous times together, and I'm really grateful for how thoughtful and caring you guys are towards me all this while. I hope I've been an equally good friend to you guys too. =P This friendship is very very special and precious to me, I'll definitely regret it if we let it fall apart. Keep in touch k!

Ok think I'm pretty much done. Time to think about what to do for e future. Wish me luck! =)

Shopping!

2011-01-17T00:43:00.003+08:00

My work's been pushed forward! As in, it'll be starting on 18th Jan instead of 31st Jan. It's exciting haha but I think I'm gonna get more and more worried abt it as D-day approaches. It's rly nerve-wrecking yknw. It's my first official work experience aft all, not counting the work exp programme I went for in sec 3 haha.

Anw! I need new shoes (among alot of other stuff) so I'm going shopping w Yann tmr! =D We're going to Bugis. Gonna return my library book as well as handing in my contract before going there to meet her but the person I'm supposed to hand the contract to hasnt replied me =S Oh well, I'll see how it goes tmr.

Well, I hope tmr would be fun! Honestly speaking I've got this tiny worry tt aft being separated frm Yann for so long I wldnt have anyth to talk to her abt anymore coz we havent been doing common things for quite a long time. AND matters of the heart havent had much news recently so, yea. Lol.
BUT I knw (or hope very much) tt we'll have fun! I mean, last time we could even walk 10 rounds arnd inside of Raffles City just for the sake of talking. How's tt man haha. I think I havent had tt much chemistry w someone before. =D

Yep! I havent figured out what I wanna wear for tmr but heck, shall leave tt to my gut feeling tmr (later) heh. I shld prolly create a shopping list hmm.

- Shoes (preferably toe-covered black heels)
- Formal jacket
- Office-suitable top(s)

Tt's abt all actly. But I think I'm gonna take a long time to complete tt list coz haha I'm a hard to satisfy consumer. Too heartbreaking to part w my money alr lol.

Happy 2011!

2011-01-10T23:32:00.002+08:00

AYEEEEEEE havent been here for damn long omg I just deleted 7 spam messages frm my cbox. -.-

Haha anw, isnt it weird like, the no. of posts heighten before A lvls period and die off ttly aft tt haha. =P Well anw, lots of things have happened since then till now. Although not all are pleasant, I'm still glad to say tt most of my days have been satisfying and relaxed. =) Yea, even w all the spring cleaning tt I've been doing heh.

Hmmm it's only been 1mth and 8 days since the end of A lvls actly. And O lvls results came out today. I'm not concerned abt it and much less affected, but it's making me slightly nervous abt coming march. =/ GAHHHH I dont rly wanna think abt it.

Ermm.... well sad thing abt this long hols is tt my family didnt plan for any long trip overseas. Any overseas trip we went on is to msia hahhaa. We visited the Johor Zoo as well as took the msia railway all the way to Kluang - just to experience how the train ride feels like haha. Most of the train ride back was spent sleeping actly lol. =P

Oh my Xmas memory was abt CTG! =D We had an outing to Orchard Road and watched Gulliver's Travels and looked at the Xmas deco. =D We even spotted Mr Matthew Quek performing Xmas songs. =)

Ok then I went for a TENBOH SLEEPOVER on the 31st Dec 2010! =D So I welcomed the new year w my beloved section. =D Well, they're one of the most wonderful ppl I've met in my life and I srsly hope our friendship will continue. =) TENBOH LOVE!

Yep tt abt summarises the major events tt have happened so far? =) I think the next big thing tt's gonna come up is HC Open House this coming wed! =D I'll get to hang out w my section peeps agn heh. =P And then aft tt there's a variety of open houses tt I'm prolly gonna attend myself (hopefully not alone =( ) and after tt is...... MY JOB! Yep I secured an admin job at NTUC E2I starting frm 31st Jan! =D The pay's not very high but it's isnt a pure admin job. Coz the company do organize job fairs and such so there might be a chance I can get to participate in admin and logistic supprot for those events. =D More exposure hopefully! =D I'm rlly looking forward to it! One tiny hitch though, I dont rly know what to wear! How?! D=

Dear Monster

2010-12-13T15:31:00.002+08:00

Monster [my pet hamster]

12th April 2009 - 13th December 2010 (21 mths)

241110

2010-11-24T23:29:00.002+08:00

I wish Bio ppr 1 was over by now. :(

Got lectured by my sis. :(

lalalaMUG

2010-10-31T02:23:00.002+08:00

10 more days.

Hazzy Graduation Day!

2010-10-20T23:00:00.002+08:00

Hello I officially graduate frm HwaChong tmr. =)

Aiyoh so fast 2 yrs alr. I still rmb orientation quite clearly leh.
I shld use tt brain space for bio instead right hmmm..

Oh well, happy grad day ppl! I love you guys alot. =D And let's hope the haze clears real fast so tt we dont have fuzzy brains when we sit for A lvls! =)

懼高症 - 徐佳瑩

2010-10-10T19:59:00.003+08:00

懼高症 - 徐佳瑩

高空彈跳的刺激我不想聽
沒興趣冒險的遊戲
當你邀請我為何輕易答應
你的語氣讓我安心

摩天輪上的夜景浪漫絢麗
半空中我忘了恐懼
當你親吻我分散了注意力
怕高的我看見星星

你讓天空失去距離
我讓我離開了遲疑
往上攀登愛情告別回憶
我在愛著你

閉上眼睛等你抱緊
輕撫我起伏的心
你是唯一讓我勇敢的原因

你讓天空如此靠近
我讓我再認識自己
往上攀登愛情告別回憶
我在愛著你

深深呼吸讓你抱緊
傾聽我起伏的心
天堂出現你的愛是樓梯

051010

2010-10-05T19:48:00.004+08:00

Shit I'm feeling so down now even thinking of my current fav song isnt cheering me up.

From Unique to Awful

2010-10-01T16:04:00.002+08:00

Argh scary grades. :(
I hope next wk isnt gonna be like tt, srsly. But if I'm realistic, I think things are just gonna get worse.

RAHHHHHHHH.

I'M NOT GONNA GIVE UP!!!!

190910

2010-09-19T23:53:00.007+08:00

Gravity - Sara Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees as I
Try to make you see that you're
Everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me and all over.

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

-----

I hope everything goes well tmr.

-----

[edit]
I found the MV to the song above! It's super cool take a look!!!!

With no sense of direction

2010-09-05T13:23:00.002+08:00

Dont feel like saying this but I think I shld anw.
I dont think I srsly mean what I say for bulk of the content below. So.. ya, just dont take it to heart or dont read or whatever. Deal w it yourself.

-----

Checked out my horoscope and zodiac in the newspapers today and they were pretty good. Full of positive energy and motivation.
But I think they're amazingly inaccurate today. Wonder why hmm.

Anw, havent blogged for so long, this blog slipped down to the 3rd most updated among the list of blogs I have.
Wanted to blog abt last day of sch, but didnt.
Wanted to blog abt Mr Heng's bday, but didnt.
Wanted to blog abt how my mood has been very bad nowadays, and tt's what I'm gonna do now.

My mum just bitched abt me to my grandaunt, who has a grandchild also taking A lvls this yr. As if comparing me to my sis within the family wasnt enough, now even my relatives are waiting to compare who's the smarter b/w me and my cousin. FML much?
Btw RachKam, I heard my cousin also wants to study vet. Pls score better than him, coz you're a much nicer person than him and I know you can do it.

And srsly, ppl who nvr used to study as hard/dont even come close to comprehending my situation and feelings dont have the right to criticize me, so please just shut up thankyouverymuch. This goes to the ppl who think they can/shld/want to preach as well. Sorry but I dont wanna listen, go preach to a wall.

And as for the rest of the world who
1. arent specific targets of my rage
2. arent the ppl I need to encourage and support me for this period of time
just stay out of my way or you might regret it.

I need someone to shake me out of this bad mood. It's not nice at all. =(

100days; 38.1

2010-07-31T09:25:00.002+08:00

I think ytd officially marks 100 days left to A lvls. If Yann told me correctly that is. =X
GRAHHHHHHHHHH =(

100days and what am I doing? Busy getting sick. -.- Last night my temp was 37.8degreesC and now it's 38.1degreesC. -.- Srsly, dont need to do work alr lor, not w my head being so heavy and all. And it just happens tt this wkend got this WHOLE FREAKING LOT of work. -.-

pissed. =S

I think this is at least the 3rd time I've gotten sick this yr. I even had to take MC earlier on in the yr. Why?! =( Compare this to full attendance for Sec4 and J1 ( I think)!! =(

Gahhh life is rlly terrible now. =(

Lesson not learnt

2010-07-19T17:53:00.003+08:00

I realised I'm srsly damn careless when it comes to doing work, be it tutorials or tests or wtv.
I rlly need to kick this bad habit before further exams.

My mum's nagging agn.

Who cares abt Spain when I've got U?

2010-07-12T23:53:00.002+08:00

I shldve known better than to think that this wk is gonna be relatively peaceful or even boring.

Interestingly, I was super tired throughout the whole of today even though I didnt stay up to watch WC. Perhaps I woudlve felt better if I actly stayed up to watch, then at least I wouldnt have missed out as much on the fun.

But ohwell, felt rlly drained and tired, even to the point of feeling pissed, for the day. I think anyone who tried to provoke me today wouldve died horribly coz I was ready to snap alr.

=S

110710

2010-07-11T23:25:00.006+08:00

Booooooo I cant go for NYCO concert. I'm rlly sad abt it. =(
Neither can I attend tanbo's sleepover.
But thanks to Laiweng, YaoZhang, Zhunsong, RachelKam and LokLiwen for trying to cheer me up abt it. =)

But well, since StraitsTimes reports that student are getting too depressed/stressed for their own good, I shall look on the bright side. I'll be going for a wkend trip to Desaru, Msia w my family. Been a long time since I got to play at a beach! ^^

We've kinda started getting our pprs back. Well, at least for Chem. =/
I knew that I screwed up Chem terribly this time so, erm, I will work harder for prelims.
Another tchr took our Math class on fri (feels like MrLoo is avoiding us eh? lol) and she went through the ans for the ppr, effectively dashing all my hopes of passing. =( Sigh.

I wonder what this week brings, other than getting myself prepared for endless mugging.

Final match of World Cup is starting in a few hrs haha I knw alotalot of ppl will be watching it, regardless of whether there's break frm sch ornot heh. =P
I wonder who's the better psychic - Paul the Octopus or Mani the Parrot? =D

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn’t matter anymore

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

And she will be loved
She will be loved

I dont like BT

2010-07-05T22:59:00.002+08:00

GRAHHHHHHH

Chem is ruining my mood. It's making me even more sian than Math did. Which is amazing in a way. =(

I cursed rlly badly on 2 occasions within this bt period. First was during GP ppr 2 when I couldnt recall the definition of a word. Ok actly it was more like I saw the word the night before and decided it prolly wont come out so didnt check the meaning. =X
Second was the morning before Math ppr when all my PandC and Probability ans were wrong. =/

Btw this time round I kinda approached the Math ppr a diff way. Banked on stats and just did what I could for pure math. I think Mr Loo's gonna get high blood pressure.
Mrs Ho also. And most prolly Mr Heng also. =X

Basically I think this bt's screwed up (again) although I tried harder than the previous one. =(
Boohoo.

-----

I shld stop acting before thinking, stop following my gut feeling.
I used to trust my gut feeling alot. Coz it used to be quite accurate.
But it's getting more and more unreliable. =(
Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Or maybe I've changed for the worse.

I dont like dealing w human relationships. =/

because interested people are interesting people

2010-06-28T00:05:00.003+08:00

http://www.asiaone.com/News/Education/Story/A1Story20100621-223176.html

GP ppr starts in roughly 8hrs' time and I'm basically trying to read anything in sight haha. =X
Oh well. I dont rlly wanna think abt blocks. It seems like alot of ppl gave up on it alr lol. I wish i could but I cant but I'm still not doing it right. =(

GRAHHH WTV.

>(

2010-06-18T23:17:00.001+08:00

Shit I'm stressed out/frustrated/pissed off all at the same time.

So much for thinking that I had a high emotional treshold. =(

木兰情 - 孙燕姿

2010-06-11T00:03:00.001+08:00

我看得见云在天上混乱的飞
我听得见滚滚沙场埋一滴泪
这是谁的沙漠我忘了我是谁
又是谁让这天灰

醒在黑山睡在黄河风吹往北
昨日故乡东市骏马在等着谁
铁衣下的你我从患难到心碎
我问天是白是黑

一颗心葬了几滴泪
一生情背我往前飞
记住这天地中的美
沧海世界一眼成灰

我想喝家里的井水
却吞下生死的滋味
就让我敬往事一杯
对自己说绝不后退

醒在黑山睡在黄河风吹往北
昨日故乡东市骏马在等着谁
铁衣下的你我从患难到心碎
我问天是白是黑

Pre-CONCERT Butterflies

2010-06-06T01:30:00.003+08:00

Today's gonna be an awesome day. I can feel it in me. =)

It's alr been some time since I started coming for pracs as a HCCO member. Still rmb the period of trying to get used to the large amt of freedom tt students enjoy. Today, I am proud to say that I'm a HCCO member and even though the time spent in it was relatively short, my memories w this unique orchestra will be one of the most treasured ones. =)
It was a short journey. But it was a fantastic journey.

Tmr, HCCO will be invading SCH and bringing the house down w our passion and music!
I swear, we'll give the best that the audience can get. =)

060510

2010-05-16T17:25:00.003+08:00

The weather and Electrochem II srsly got on my nerves today.
I ended up getting on my mum's nerves. =(
See lah, it's all the weather's and Electrochem II's fault. =/

Ok lah. There's alot of other factors also lah. Like EveryOtherSubject and CCA and whoknowswhat.
I'm rlly pissed off at the weather though. And I'm pissed off at whoever it was who offed the aircon and didnt bother to turn on the fan this morning. T_T

Bad mood lah srsly.
And knowing that there's gonna be bio remed tmr doesnt help.

徐佳瑩 - 哼情歌

2010-05-09T19:56:00.003+08:00

徐佳瑩 - 哼情歌

在無關緊要的場合都會想起這首歌
是因為你曾經哼唱著
在平淡無奇的眼神都會想起你呢
是因為我曾被你凝望著

在無關緊要的場合都會想起這首歌
是因為你曾經哼唱著
在平淡無奇的眼神都會想起你呢
是因為我曾被你凝望著

我只好夜夜哼情歌
是因為他擁著你了
不想往事因為你們背影而毫無氣色了
是不是還愛著你呢
所以我心還在跳動著

還有什麼捨不得也只能哼情歌

我只好夜夜哼情歌
是因為他擁著你了
不想往事因為你們背影而毫無氣色了
是不是還愛著你呢
所以我心還在跳動著

還有什麼捨不得也只能哼情歌
也只能哼情歌

SPA is for Relaxation (NOT)

2010-05-06T19:18:00.002+08:00

If I go on the street and tell any stranger "I had spa today" they'll probably be impressed.
Well, at least if I dont approach any taitai lah.

But spa is definitely not relaxing when it comes to handling micropipettes, multiple chemicals, breaking glassware and chionging against the time.
Yea you guessed it, I had my A lvl SPA ytd and today.

Bio was ytd, it was not bad except for stuff like being careless and drawing the wrong diagram [luckily I corrected it] and spilling TAE buffer coz I was trying to disconnect the box from the power pack which was 10million miles away. ZhiChao ChengSiang and ChinkKiat were all watching me lah then all of them gasped at the same time when my gel tank nearly fell onto the floor. D= Oh and not to forget I think I left my gel running for too long coz I didnt keep track of the time. =X

And Chem spa today was drama/embarrassing/breath-taking. Broke a measuring cylinder, and almost broke another one just a few mins later. Now that I think abt it, it's rlly quite funny haha Mrs Ho actly asked me "what are you doing?!" when I dropped the second one. =X Sigh I was the only one w mishaps for spa today I think. T_T Haha.

But overall I think it was ok lah, felt much more prepared for the spa as compared to last yr. =) Lol.

020510

2010-05-02T23:16:00.002+08:00

11:11 just passed not long ago.

I've nvr really believed that wishing/hoping could do anything to help make reality better.
But hope's the only thing I'm banking on right now, as well as for a long time to come.
It sucks to feel hopeless. "Sucks" doesnt even come close to describing how it's like to be hopeless.

And that what I'm feeling, hopeless.

Nowadays I keep getting the feeling that I need to talk to someone or I'd snap from the tension I'm feeling. But looking at how happy others are, I'll start thinking "what makes you think you can bother them with your own sad feelings?"

-----

Thankyou RachelKam.
Thankyou for listening to me, for empathising w me, for trying to cheer me up. Your honesty in pointing out the reality made me sad but I know I cant escape. So I'm just grateful that you're there for me. <3

NAPFA 2010

2010-05-01T10:22:00.005+08:00

Sit-up: 48 [A]
Standing Broad Jump: 185cm [B i think]
Sit and Reach: 51cm [A]
Inclined Pull-Up: 18 [A?]
Shuttle Run: 11.4s [B - A was 11.3s dammit]
2.4km: 15:21 [C]

Overall: Muscle ache

Ziyan and Ros jiayou for sbj!! And Bobo jiayou for ipu!

I came home ytd and told my mum abt getting gold for napfa and she was like "so?"
My parents rlly know how to be proud of my achievements huh.

Insane time, Insane thoughts

2010-04-25T03:05:00.002+08:00

It feels weird when I see all those photos, knwing that I couldve been part of them. It just makes me feel so bloody left out.
Haha shit. =(

There's so much work to do and so limited time, it's driving me mad. Nowadays I really dont enjoy my time in sch/lessons and the thought of having to return to that place everyday really puts me off sometimes. Coz every single moment I spend there is demoralising, hopeless and frustrating. Even when there're happy stuff going on I dont feel part of the fun at all, the happiness doesnt infect me at all.

CCA's been good, and not good at the same time.
I dont rlly wanna rant here since this is public and all.
But well, to summarize, I'm pretty put off by how some people treat the orchestra. How they think they have to be in the centre of attention before they are willing to commit. It's so hypocritical I'm actly feeling disgusted somewhat.
So much for claiming to be passionate.
Andandand I need someone to tell me how badly I'm playing.

I know this sounds ridiculous and wtv but sometimes I find myself wishing that I can just disappear, vanish. That somehow I can erase my existance.

I know I cant cry forever, but I havent found that motivation yet.

On a sidenote, I cant believe I really blushed when Bochao teased me the other day. -.-

Waterworks

2010-04-21T23:22:00.004+08:00

This doesnt seem like a good start to being 18 at all. It's only been like, 2 weeks?
I think my tear glands arent gonna get dry anytime soon. I'm really very tired, not just my eyes only.
Seems like my mood always managed to hit record low on weds hmm.

=(

Thankyou everyone who were discreetly showing their concern for me today: KY, Yann, Bobo, MiaoWee.

Emotionally Unstable 18th

2010-04-15T21:18:00.007+08:00

Heyyyy this is my first blogpost after turning 18 haha. =D This post is rlly quite overdue, since I was supposed to blog this out last Tues. But frm then till now I was always either too tired or too depressed to squeeze a happy post out of me.

Well it's finally here anw lol.

Firstly, I finally managed to go out w Sok! =D Haha SHE TREATED ME TO MOVIE EH. xD We watched How To Train A Dragon and I really liked it! The storyline was kinda typical but well, I liked the animation. And the dragons haha. =) Pity we didnt watch it in 3D though, and it would've been nice if we got better seats. =(

And I think that's gonna be the last time I get to go out in a longlonglooooooong while, but that's another thing. =X More abt it later.

I turned 18 on Monday! =D Ahhh it feels weird to say tt I'm 18 now omg so old! Well that day was superb and wonderful and everybody treated me so nicely I felt so LOVED! Haha. Thankyou to everybody who rmbed and wished me a happybirthday! And thankyou Nigel Yijiao and Lejing for treating me to Sogurt even though you guys are alr paying for the cake! Thankyou Sok for that watch! And almost 50 ppl wished me happy bday on fb! Thankyou to my angel(jnr) for giving me such a unique and interesting present! Thankyou S74 and HCCO for singing me a bday song! And most imptly THANKYOU my family for the celebration and presents! =D THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR BRINGING THAT SMILE TO MY FACE I AM REALLY VERY TOUCHED! =D Love you guys!

Next! I mentioned that for the past 1.5 wks I've been emotionally unstable right! Well it's more of like 90% of the time my mood was in the negative range but since there are peaks on mon and wed, I decided to say tt my mood is unstable! Ahh but it hit a record low on wed I guess, since I couldnt take it anymore and broke down in sch. =(
Stupid thing was that someone surprised me w a very nice treat during cca and I was so touched/happy that I almost cried agn.
Emotionally unstable ttm lol. =X
Thankyou Bochao for being there for me! =)

Yep and I'm officially grounded. Forlife. =X
Ok maybe NOT for life (hopefully) but well I cant make it for STJ anymore. Actly I dont mind not going for STJ/JTS as much as 天与地. I rllyrllyRLLY hope I can make it for the latter. =X

ANYWAYS HCCO CONCERT IS OFFICIALLY OPEN TO ORDERS FOR TICKETS! Details are as follows:

Event: 天籁回音之宫商律吕
Date: 6th June 2010 (Sunday)
Time: 7.30PM
Venue: Singapore Conference Hall
Ticket Price: $12/$15/$20 (free seating within allocated blocks)
Contact: hcco.0910@gmail.com

Once in a Long Long While

2010-04-03T16:36:00.007+08:00

I cant say that I'm a healthy kid, in fact I'm extremely unhealthy, looking at how I live my life everyday haha. But at least I can confidently say that I havent taken MC for the past few years.
Maybe that's why when I finally need MC, I need abt a week's worth of it hahaha. =P

I'm gonna dieee soon coz all my phelgm are suffocating me I swearrrrrr. T_T

Not falling sick for so long has made me forgotten how horrible it feels and now that I'm reminded of how awful it is, I dont wanna fall sick anytime soon. Well, it's diff if I happen to need an excuse to skip school (haha) but. Falling so ill that I need an MC is still... dreadful.
Very dreadful. =(
And I think doctors will find me an irritating patient. Coz I dont eat my med on time. In fact I dont even bother to eat med at all unless I feel like it. Such good care I'm providing myself w huh.

Haha for some reason it seems that the only emotion my mum can direct towards me is anger, I think. Other than that she's neutral towards me. Aside from the usual stuff that makes her angry, even falling sick got her shouting at me. =X Haha kinda sad isnt it. This morning I was thinking abt it and I thought maybe she's just too used to getting angry at me lol.
Oh well at least when I'm seriously sick she lets me sleep all I want lol.

~~Ahh damn she's shouting at me agn. Prolly coz I'm no longer having fever.~~
Lol. =(

Ahh the shouting made me forget what I wanted to blog abt. Ok nvm.

I think I've got this really strange, childish habit or defying my mum.
Weird? Can it even be called a habit? Or just some screwed up thinking?
Maybe this is the real problem I shld be seeing a doc abt.

Iron (III) Chloride

2010-03-25T16:18:00.002+08:00

Today was chem ppr and well, I dont think there's much hope. =X

I had another nightmare during my afternoon nap just now. This is like, the third nightmare within block test period? I wonder if blocks rlly freak me out so much I start getting nightmares. =S
Or maybe it's due to the screwup in my sleeping patterns, which is caused by blocks anw. Therefore the ultimate source of evil is blocks? Haha.

Off to bio. Chiong arh!

My sis claims I shld nvr title my posts

2010-03-23T17:37:00.003+08:00

Hihi the previous post was too emo/angsty for public viewing and I thought it would spoil my image so I decided to take it down. ^^
Doesnt mean it doesnt hold true though, but that doesnt matter. (wow i used 3 "doesnt" lol.)

Today's Math ppr was horrible. Kinda expected actly, which is why I didnt breakdown upon seeing the ppr.
Haha but honestly speaking dont think I would breakdown even if I couldnt even do a single qns. Coz given that 3hrs and the qns ppr, somehow the brain will just be automatically concentrating on the ppr, desperately trying to solve the qns despite repeated futile attempts.
But I dont like the part when the paper is over and I realise I couldve done so much more.
That's where all the i-hate-myself part comes in lol.

Oh I think I didnt mention this, but Econs wasnt tt gd either. I knew I was thinking econs, I knew I was writing econs, but I'm not sure as to how coherent I was. =X Not to mention the lack of brain power and speed, lack of time, presence of hunger and bad mood coz of spoilt breakfast. =(

Next up is Chem then Bio.
No comments. =S

IE loaded so slowly I forgot what I wanted to blog

2010-03-21T00:16:00.003+08:00

Although "lucky" is the last word I'd use to describe myself now. Haha.

Lucky - Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Reduced Nicotinamide Adenine Dinucleotide Phosphate

2010-03-19T12:38:00.004+08:00

GRAHH I think I'm srsly gonna die a very ugly death for this blocks. =(
I shall apologise to all my tchrs and everyone who has high expectations of me (to pass) here.
So sorry! =X

And honestly speaking, this is a rlly bad time to fall sick. Been feeling unwell since Sunday evening and the horrible feeling is still there.
Seems like alot of ppl are getting sick. Probably some mass allergy to notes or smth haha. =)

Ok nvm. I shall finish off photosynthesis today, and try my best to mugg Math even though it's the most hopeless subj. Sat shall be full of Econs, Sunday shall be finishing up of Econs and more Bio/Math/Chem.
Rlly cant wait for this to be overrrrrrrrrr gah.

Anyone wants to go out w me after blocks or go huangcheng w me?? =)

Late-Night Chats and Movie Buddies

2010-03-14T12:42:00.004+08:00

On friday night I dreamt that we received back our GP paper.
Apparently I scored 10/50 for my essay. Then somehow my compre qns were all blanks so it was all zero. Ironically my summary and AQ scored 8 and 10 respectively (which is impossible anw).
Which means I failed the paper. Badly.

So much for exam stress.
Hah.

I Fear people who Judge (me)

2010-03-12T15:17:00.001+08:00

GP paper today! Sighhh so screwed up lah. =( My essay was 2.5pages I think it's rlly short and lacks content and lacks maturity of thought!! T_T Sigh. And compre was so screwed too! AQ was like ARGHHHH and there was a complete lack of time to finish the paper. I left like a thousand vocab blanks I think I need to go memorise the Thesaurus or smth. =( Only wrote 139/150 words for summary which is not a good sign and my english was bad and due to lack of time my last sentence for AQ was total incoherent rubbish, smth gotta do w Dalai Lama but I dunno what. =((

Pathetic ttm. =X

On the other hand, it's nice to come home early, have the whole house to myself and know that there's gonna be a nice storm coming, frm how dark the sky looks. =D

I shall work hard this hols. I will work hard this hols.
But then I got no motivation at all to do Math leh, how? I need someone to babysit me through Math. =X

Triangular Theory of Love

2010-03-10T22:48:00.004+08:00

Hihi I'm super ultra bored now and am trying to put off doing GP compre, which explains why I'm here blogging now. But actly I'm here partly coz I was shocked when I saw that the post I wrote on the last day of hols was still displayed on the first page of my blog. Mind you, my blog only displays the 5 latest posts. =X

Anws, today it finally rained (yay) but I thought there could be more wind to accompany the rain. Spammage of Bio in the morning when I hadnt even had my breakfast was (almost) pure torture. I'm pretty sure quite alot of my brain cells were killed in the process of trying to figure out respiration. =( So much to study omg and somehow every tchr thinks tt we have 1 whole week to study.
Like hello, I knw you only teach 1 subj but we study more than that.
Much more than that.
=(

Well, math lecture wasnt interesting today, I didnt rlly pay attention even though I've been paying attention to Diff Eqns lectures so far (so guai right). I think I didnt benefit at all when the tchr went through Complex No. for revision. =X
CT session was held in music room and it was sex education. It's so weird having Mr Heng ask "what is love?" instead of "what happens to the proton gradient when the membrane is disrupted?" (omg respiration/photosynthesis spammage). Haha. Oh well, we got to learn this Triangular Theory of Love, created by some psychologist (I think) who claims that Love involves Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. Intermediates are coined diff terms such as companionate and stuff haha. So only when there's all 3 in the relationship then can you call that love.
Hmm.

Ok nvm. I'm rlly bored now and I just realised I have yet to settle accounting matters for SL.
Friday is blocks but I ttly dont feel the blocks atmosphere yet.
This is bad. =(

500th

2010-03-07T12:34:00.003+08:00

I dont like this total bad mood that I'm having now. =(

I realised that in this world,
the person that everyone really, and only, care about is themselves.

I mean, who gives a damn abt you?

Can't put into words

2010-03-07T01:25:00.001+08:00

I thought I would feel better after I blogged it out.
But then I realise it wont work coz I dont even know how to express what I'm feeling/thinking.

A lvl results day was scary.

When you finally get sick of looking at money

2010-02-28T14:13:00.002+08:00

Ahh it's been so long since I posted, I figured I shld update when I have the chance to. Not like my mood's very good now anws.

Today is the 15th day of the lunar new yr! Meaning celebration for the cny is "officially over". No more collection of angbaos. =( Haha. I think this yr's haul is not bad compared to last yr! =D Think it's due to the upturn in the economy or smth? And we went visiting to more places this yr too. =)
And that includes tuanbai! First time I went for one and although there were only arnd 12 people, it was a great deal of fun! =D Going arnd to visit ppl's homes and then playing cards, watching chingay and laughing at the ridiculous floats haha. =P Not to forget all the good food and drinks that were prepared for us! Thanks to Yijiao's, Krystal's, YaoZhang's and Laiweng's parents for letting us visit! =D Too bad we didnt get to see YaoZhang's brother lol. And his home is srsly confusing in a certain manner. =X Lol.
Let's do this agn next yr! =D

Hmm it's e-learning wkend now (which explains why I'm blogging) and I'm really sian. Just met some problems w accounting for SL and am getting a headache trying to solve them (actly, no headache yet. but it's bad enough to cause one). There's suddenly this influx of stuff to complete and surveys to handle. Somehow the school thinks tt w the extra hours at home we can complete 10times more work or smth. Actly tt might be true, thinking abt the time we usually spend outside home (in school). -.-

Mr Loo arranged to meet me on thurs. Somehow it feels like he just announced my slaughter date. =X Sigh. And Mr Heng was saying smth abt having to study rlly hard for blocks. Omggggg.

Watched Titanic on Channel 5 last night and it was rlly sad. =( It was rlly sadddd when Jack died, but I thought Rose was rlly strong. -sniff- And my dad commented that Rose's fiancee looked like the mummy guy in The Mummy hahhaa.

Ahh I forgot what else I wanted to say. Shall go back to my accounts. Bye peeps.

I saw how stupid I was when I realised you were replaceable.
I want to talk to ~~someone~~ you.

When "Homework" translates to "Nothing To Do"

2010-02-09T21:45:00.005+08:00

Wheeee life's currently filled w speeding through academic topics, getting used to crowded wings, angry chief angels, obsession over new fac dance, etcetcetc.
(Btw ETC means electron transport chain. So everytime you say etc you're saying electron transport chain how cool is tt!)

Evolution notes came. I think it looks cheem and cool!
Well, a tad bit too cheem and cool for me though. Think I'll skip this one. (I wish)
Wondering how MrsFoo lectures will be like. =X

Jnrs! They seem nice on the whole. No weird personalities and such so yay. =P Started writing letters to my mortal alr. Omg I cant believe I'm using that nickname for my angel name. -.- Ok nvm.
ANDANDANDANDAND somehow all the angels frm the jnr class are missing!
Why like tt arh. TSKK! >(
Fac dance is cool. Think we have a good chance of winning fac dance comp this yr! So exciting. =D

HCCO REUNION DINNER was fun! =D Too bad for the jnrs who didnt come. You guys lost out mannn! D= I spent the morning trying to sell H2O for CO fundraising in sch, followed by this Animal Welfare youth forum in Yishun. Frankly speaking, the forum didnt rlly talk abt how youths can play a more active part in protecting animal welfare. Instead, I felt that it was more about the government trying to tell us the difficulties it faces when trying to maintain a balance b/w animal welfare enthusiasts and non-enthusiasts. Quite diff frm what I expected.
Then went for the reunion dinner (steamboat!) and there were alot of people so it was very cramped. I still rmb I was drinking water when Yijiao said smth rlly funny and I ended up choking. Some of the drink even came out frm my nose omg gross. My nose didnt feel normal for the rest of the night lol. xD

After dinner we (tanbo) settled tuanbai stuff and then played games outside Northpoint! Played w the J4 snrs and all it was rlly fun. =D We shld do tt agn soon! Like during tuanbai or smth. =P

Ok my dad just dealt w a cockroach that somehow came to my room. Cockroaches are the bane of my life, I swear. Alongside Math, that is. =X

Ok I shld like go do work now I dont rlly like complex numbers. =(

010210

2010-02-01T22:00:00.002+08:00

You know I was planning for a rlly nice blogpost earlier on.
But now I'm so vexed/frustrated I cant think properly. There's srsly too many things bothering me.
And my sis isnt making things any better.

Oh well.
Wtv.

I've been having headaches every now and then. Bochao says it's due to not enough sleep. =(

260110

2010-01-26T23:36:00.003+08:00

I think I'm developing this ~~strong~~ distaste for school.
Dammit.

Don't Let Me Fall - Lenka

2010-01-13T22:45:00.002+08:00

My day got destroyed by my dad and sis.
Not like it was a fantastic day in the first place.
Thanks peeps.

Goodbye Hols; Hello BackToSch

2010-01-10T23:58:00.001+08:00

This is officially the last day of hols. =(
Saddsaddsadddddd. T_T
From now onwards it'll just be... I'm not looking forward to it. =X

Oh well. Since everyone's going through it tgt, I'm hoping it wont be as bad as I think? =)
Well, there're excitings things to look forward to. Things like CO concert (pls go for it ppl!), CO trip, SL, jnrs, etcetcetc.

=)

All the best! =D

The Ultimate Evil Force

2010-01-07T23:38:00.004+08:00

Ytd I officially proved to myself tt I'm directionless in places which I'm not familiar w. T_T Walked arnd in Clementi searching for the MRT station and got lost. -.- In the end chose to walk the easier but longer way - arnd the whole maze.
So embarrassing omg.
And ytd I was so tired tt I ended up falling asleep at 10pm at night (compare this to my usual 3am). Left my comp on so sry for those ppl who talked to me and didnt get any response. Pls be prepared to exp more of this in future! =X
I think the getting lost part kinda freaked me out coz I had a dream where I went somewhere w my family and somehow I was separated frm them. I didnt have my phone or ezlink or any money whatsoever on me. Woke up to find myself crying. ><

School's reopening rllyrllyrlly soon! I think I'm gonna miss hols. T_T
Well sch reopening's a sad thing but hopefully it'll be fun as well. There's quite alot of things to look forward to and yea I think it might be an exciting yr. =D Not to mention I miss seeing everyone! Haha.
The only undesirable thing is work. Sigh. And of course the ultimate evil force we have to face at the end of the yr. =X
Motivationmotivationmotivation come to me!!
Lol.

Btw, my GC's working agn haha. Amazingly.

040110

2010-01-04T11:08:00.004+08:00

First post of the new year! Apparently this is the 490th post on my blog. 5 yrs alr and not even 500 posts. Less than 100 posts per yr on average.
Oh well, last week of hols alr. As usual, my work hasnt been completed yet. =X There's alot of arrangements I have to make, my GC's betrayed me and died, my speakers gone all weird, I feel like screaming at my mum to stop asking me to do housework coz I need to do my work.
Damn.

Who's willing to lend me their GC for 1 yr? =/

感同身受林宥嘉

有谁流过眼泪请说

有谁没有哭过请说

你也怎么能挨过如果那个是我

可能比你更失落

我想说每个人都差不多

不一样的血肉之躯在痛苦快乐面前

我们都是平起平坐

全世界的脉搏（像你像我）

让我们用心抚摸（是你是我）

别人的眼泪随时来自你和我的双眼

有那么多人在寂寞就没有人寂寞

有谁曾经要死要活

想象连呼吸也很难过

给我会怎么做有同样的遭遇

是否有相同结果

我想说每个人都差不多

不一样的血肉之躯在痛苦快乐面前

我们都是平起平坐

在同一本小说（像你像我）

主角无分你我（是你是我）

别人的遗憾当中看到自己犯过的错

有那么多人在寂寞就没有人寂寞

（那些笑容）都是为了什么

（那些折磨）是怎么样解脱

（让人快乐）我们都会快乐

（让人寂寞）谁还敢说寂寞

写一首歌 - 顺子

2009-12-27T02:28:00.000+08:00

Tis the season of Emotions

2009-12-26T01:18:00.002+08:00

This morning I was texting ppl something along the lines of have a sunny xmas.
But it started raining in the afternoon and I couldnt use it anymore. =( Sadness. Personally I though a sunny xmas was quite cool.
Then Nigel suggested I imagine the rain as snow and wished me a white xmas.

I can now say I encountered a snowstorm haha.

I think I shld stop talking to you haha.
Coz I'll just end up hurting myself.
What's the point in that.

MIA

2009-12-22T01:04:00.002+08:00

Went swimming w my sis this morning. =D No near-drowning incidents this time round. =X Heh. =)

I'll be MIA for the next 2 days so ppl looking for me pls wait patiently! Can try smsing me lah I will be able to receive your sms(es) but you wont be getting any reply. I dont mind if you try sms monologue. It'll be useful if I happen to get bored. x)

Changed my profile pic on fb (finally) haha. =P

Miss me! =D

Make My Day

2009-12-20T14:35:00.004+08:00

Ahh I havent been updating at all rahrahhhh I think coz too many things have been happening on a frequency so high I lost the energy to blog. =X Lol. This hols have been real good so far ~~cept for the (undone) homework part~~. =D

Anyway, I saw this on mylifeisaverage.com and it ttly cracked me up hahaha:

"Today the guy who broke my heart got beat up by my friends. Instead of beating him up, they yelled wizard spells until he ran away crying. I love my friends. MLIA"

Lol. xD

151209

2009-12-15T18:37:00.001+08:00

原諒我就是這樣的女生戴佩妮

我不够认份所以怕再为谁作出牺牲
爱要有天份所以我始终学不会放任
我不够天真不允许我傻傻的等
对自己残忍多残忍我要有分寸

我太过认真所以才相信所谓的永恒
爱让人恍神所以止不住不小心沉沦
我太负责任不允许有太多悔恨
对自己坦诚多坦诚我自有分寸

我只是无辜的人很需要叹气声
有一些文字的吻只留给伤过的人
明知道有些问题没有答案还是要问
原谅我因为我就是这样的女生

111209

2009-12-11T16:43:00.004+08:00

I realised this is called 失恋.

哭過就好了梁文音

不喜歡懷疑什麼
並不表示我　沒有感受
看你微妙的變化　慢慢不同
我不是生氣　只是心痛

最討厭被誤會了
但越解釋　越覺得難過
你可以說人會變
但不能說　你會這麼做　是我的錯

哭過就好了　傷都會好的
這樣相信所以深呼吸著　割捨
愛是為了擁抱　為了牽手
不是為了爭吵　為了調頭

哭過就好了　痛都會走的
記憶有限　所以它會淘汰　懷的
失眠聽歌　想念雖然苦澀
還是謝謝你　讓我長大了

越多美好堆疊的過往
想忘就得推倒更大的悲傷
要找勇氣卻不在口袋或　手上
但它一定在我身上某個地方

I hate to rmb all that I felt before.

111209

2009-12-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

omgomgwthwthwthwthwthWTH.
=(

091209

2009-12-09T02:13:00.004+08:00

The other day (monday I think) GaoTian was trying to cheer me up w his rational thinking over MSN. I rlly appreciate it haha thanks alot! =D
Anyway, I was thinking, if everyone rlly thinks so rationally, then by right, there isnt a need for there to be emotions such as love anymore. Well, there prolly wont be so much sadness but if there's no sadness, where does happiness come frm?
I was listening to 爱一直存在 by 梁文音 and I thought that maybe experiencing sadness isnt that terrible at all. I mean, yea sadness is sad and makes ppl cry and everyth. But then, isnt it also indicative of how much (in this case, the person) means to you? If you can't be bothered about a person at all, would your emotions be affected by what that person does? I would say no.
Doesnt the beauty of sadness lie in the fact that you're experiencing it?

Maybe his point was to ask me to not brood over the sadness and look on the brighter side instead. =)

Ziyan is in Genting. W her math hw but no foolscap paper lol.

爱一直存在梁文音

那天我扬起帆
想看看未知的海
心里很多话想说说不出来
虽然我脸上看不出来

天空一样蔚蓝
却换了多少云彩
那时的你让我幸福百分百
是否为我等待

我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你泪停不下来
你知道我一来多不想say goodbye
我痛说不出来

我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你快乐都停摆
某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂
回头看爱都在

站在你的门外
我却幸福在徘徊
心里很多话想说说不出来
但我想你一定都明白

时间过的好快
想念却不曾更改
现在的你是否幸福百分百
我应该怎么猜

我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你泪停不下来
你知道我一来多不想say goodbye
我痛说不出来

我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你快乐都停摆
某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂
回头看爱都在

我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你泪停不下来
你知道我一来多不想say goodbye
我痛说不出来

我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你快乐都停摆
某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂
回头看爱都在

爱一直存在

071209

2009-12-07T20:53:00.002+08:00

Felt like total crap last night.
Thanks to those ppl who aided in the process of making me feel so shitty.
Thanks to Mr. Non-Receptive for making me feel so pathetic.
Sincere thanks to MelWee for trying to console me w her logic. (lol)

I wont cry anymore. I promise I'll keep those stupid tears in.

On the other hand, I had fantastic hair day today. Well, at least in the morning haha. I think my hair's pitying me abt what I've been going through. Aww. (wts i sound like some madwoman)

Went for post-mortem this morning! =D Was late by half an hour coz the bus refused to come. Went to Island Creamery where the exco treated the non-exco to icecream! Btw, there were only 10 ppl present, out of which only 3 were non-exco lol.
Discussed abt how interaction went and stuff and Mrs Lee bought doughnuts for us! =D How nice of her right. =)
Finished the meeting at arnd 1pm, after which me, Weng, Nigel, Zixin, Francis, Tricia and Zimin went to Settler's Cafe at SMU and ate, drank, slacked and played games till 6pm. I became a Level 5 pig along w Nigel lol. x) After tt, we decided to head for prom which was held at Swissotel to visit the snrs! Haha. Sadly, only managed to see Liyi, Yiling, Randy, MingShiang, Jiaying, Yanqi, Xueying and Jasmine. They were all so formal looking! It was real cool to see them. =D I saw Charles too, and took a photo w him. =) Too bad didnt see anyone else like daddy or Louis. =/ Sadddddd.

Left tt place for home at arnd 7pm. Alighted at Pioneer instead of Boon Lay and walked home. =)

主动 VS (不)被动

2009-12-05T22:02:00.005+08:00

Alot of exciting things happened for the past 2 days which rendered me so tired I didnt have the energy to blog abt it at night. Z_Z Haha.

2 nights ago I went to catch the movie 2012 w my dad and sis! =D 157mins worth of high tension and fantastic computer effects - I think it's rlly worth paying a visit to the cinema to catch it! I mean, these kinda scenes are best appreciated on a huge screen haha. =P I like the huge volcano one the best heh. And there's this super cute dog who knows tightrope walking! Ok lah the diameter of the rope wasnt tt small but still, haha. Lucky dog which survived while her mistress drowned. =X

I finished reading this book Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood. It's plot is set in a futuristic context and humanity as we know it today has been destroyed except for one person who calls himself Snowman. There also lives a new race of humans called the Children of Crake, who are in the care of Snowman. The reason for the wipeout of Man is explained through a recount of the memories of Snowman. Basically one of the most obvious themes mentioned in the book is Science Ethics. There are other stuff too lah but I havent rlly thought abt them yet. My sis thinks tt there's terrorism but I dont see it. =X Haha nvm. The ending of the book left me abit confused coz there's alot of unanswered qns. So I went to look at the reviews online and quite a number of ppl commented tt it wasnt a very good book. But I thought maybe the confusion was on purpose due to the fading memories of Snowman, or smth like tt. As in, it wasnt an error or anyth, more of a technique to create this confusion in readers? Haha I dunno. But overall it was an enjoyable read so I would recommend it to folks out there! =P Go read and tell me what you think haha.

Ytd morning my dad woke me up early coz we were supposed to go to some park for a morning walk tgt (w the whole family). I ttly regretted sleeping at 3am the night before omg. =X Anyway yep we went to this park somewhere at Queenstown. Walkwalkwalk I shant elaborate. I think I got darker frm all tt walking in the morning sun though. =X I wonder if there's a limit to how dark I can get hmm. =/
After tt we went to IMM and my mum bought the dvd of Terminator : Salvation at 22.90bucks. It's amazing tt she made tt purchase coz usually we dont buy dvds - at least not until they're much cheaper than this haha. Watched it at home in the afternoon and it was not bad, albeit quite short. 112mins I think? And it's easier to understand if you've been following the terminator series (like my dad).
Spent the night w Ziyan watching this concert by SNYO at VCH. =) We had dinner at Macs where I realised it cheaper to eat at KFC. Also found out tt Ziyan is richhhhh I shld rob her someday or smth. x) Well, to sum it up, they're good. The sound was not bad at all. But sadly the first piece set a sleepy mood so I ended up falling asleep during the second piece. =X Therefore my fav are the ones after intermission haha. =P But the quality of the sound is good. =) We bought flowers for ValGay and KY but clever Val left during intermission coz her part was over. -.- In the end both flowers were given to KY. Lucky girl, haha.

This morning woke up early agn (last night slept at 1.20am coz I was tired. Jacky said it's a miracle haha.) and we went to Malaysia! =D I think initially my dad wanted to bring us to this place where we can see mangrove forests and such. Smth like nature reserve I think. But the 老天不作美 and it rainedddddd. So we couldnt go and ended up buying groceries and stuff at Jusco. The muffins are 0.99RM wts. =P

落花有意随流水，流水无情恋落花
I've been having dreams of you. They were sad, sad dreams.
I guess I might as well completely give up. No point hanging onto nothing.
[grah i had so much stuff to write but now tt i'm here everyth's gone frm my head]
Anyway, I think this time it's for real.
Everyth was just an illusion wasnt it?
One sided.
It started one sided; it'll end one sided.

Nvm.
I will get over this real soon.

021109

2009-12-02T22:44:00.002+08:00

We had tanbo + guanyue intrasectional bonding session today! Haha.
Went to Bugis to replenish our stock of strings yay. =D
~~And we got free garlic bread at pastamania.~~
Shhhhh. x)

I'm in trouble! I think I'm immune to my alarm clock's ringing alr howhowhow?!?!?!? Last night I set my alarm clock to wake me up this morning at 7am but apparently the ringing didnt wake me up at all and rung until my mum got pissed. She came into the room and threw the clock at me, waking me up. o.O
~~such violence~~

Tmr we're going to visit SPCA at 11am! We're meeting up at Bartley station first and tt stupid place is frking far away frm my house srsly. -.- Just spent eons trying to find the shortest way to get there. Hopefully I dont get lost. =X

My dad got a new comp today! Smth to be celebrated abt but I'm super pissed coz they set up the comp in my room and threw all the wrapper on my bed. -.- Now who's the one who's always complaining tt my room is messy?
Angryangryangryangryangry.

Last night my sis woke me up at 5am to look at the moon through her telescope. -.-
I mean, it's rlly nice of her to do tt but srsly, 5am?
Maybe tt's why I didnt hear the alarm clock ringing this morning hmmmmmm. =/

Been in an awful mood since just now I dunno why. =/ I think coz I almost got a headache frm trying to find out how to make my way to Bartley. =(

011209

2009-12-01T14:49:00.003+08:00

So fast and it's alr the last month of 2009.
It's still kinda early to get nostalgic but still, this yr has passed by rlly fast.
Even A lvls are coming to an end. Which means in 1 yr's time, I'll be reaching the end of my A lvls too. =X

The weather's been great these 2 days and haha I've been sleeping alot coz of it. I mean, the temptation of cuddling up in my bed in this superb weather is too great to resist! Haha.

Anyways these few days I've been obsessed w this song

Lucky - Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me, I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round

You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

The lyrics doesnt rlly illustrate what I've been feeling nowadays but grah who cares. I still love the song. To bad couldnt find the official music video. =/

271109

2009-11-27T21:32:00.004+08:00

It finally rained today after 3 days of no/little rain.
But tt didnt cheer me up. Not a single bit.
=(
I think I'm confused, I dunno what I'm feeling/thinking anymore.

I think I might've given up.

TAG Day 4

2009-11-26T23:12:00.004+08:00

I changed my mind abt neuro gym bring boring. =P
Haha ya I was at the neuro gym for this morning again. This time coz I was more familiar w the ppl and everyth, it was easier for me to hold conversations w them and thus making things more interesting and less awkward. Oh I forgot to mention in the last post tt I got to know Agnes, a therapist assistant, as well as Raman, etc. Agnes was like my good friend frm in the gym area haha. And the optherapist frm hc was called ZhenZhen.

Had lunch at NUS canteen w Jasmine and this person I dunno her name. =X So sorry!

After tt I was attached to a physio who was doing outpatients in the afternoon. He's called Michael and I didnt know tt he was a snr physio there until the end of the day. -.- Lol. Apparently he's been in this career for 10 yrs alr. Basically I just stood arnd and observed while he took care of those patients who came for their appt. And interestingly I asked more qns than on previous days I suppose coz it's the last chance I can ask. Well I got his email so if I've got anymore (qns) I can email him. He seems srsly busy though. =X I think he was supposed to knock off at like arnd 5/5.30pm but then we ended up staying there till arnd 6pm. I even felt kinda bad for holding him back to ans my qns. =( Oh well.

Well basically these few days of attachment has been a real eye opener for me and I think it's gotten me much more informed abt physio as well as raised my interest level in it. =) Am thankful to all the physios tt I've been attached to for taking such good care of me and tolerating my blunders/blurness and everyth. And of course making my attachment at NUH such an enjoyable one. =D Too bad Friday's a public hol, if not I wouldve rlly looked forward to having one more day of attachment.

Ahh somehow throughout these 4 days of TAG my blogpost of it keeps getting shorter lol.

TAG Day 3

2009-11-25T22:08:00.002+08:00

I stayed at the gym for the whole of today and to be honest, it's more boring than the past 2 days. =/ Watching the ppl do rehab and observing the physios were interesting as usual but the fact tt I didnt/couldnt do anyth much was boring. =(

Patients were brought to the gym in 2 sessions - morning and afternoon. Most of the morning patients were warded ones while those in the afternoon were more of appt patients. Coz I didnt have any form of training whatsoever, the only thing I helped out w was to take the blood pressure of every single patient who came. Oh ya early in the morning just when I reached there was this class for ppl who needed to strengthen their heart muscles. So they were just doing some exercises under the supervision of the ppl there, dont think they were warded. Then after tt the warded patients came of which were mostly old folks and a couple of ppl who were involved in an accident of some sort. There was this auntie who kept complaining tt she was hungry to the pt tt she was almost crying alr but the physios told me tt she always complains abt stuff like tt so just ignore her. I think the physios have no choice but to do so coz they're srsly busy, handling a few patients at one time. So if they attend to her every need they would just die or smth. =/

I met this Mdm Wong in the afternoon session and she was rlly friendly. Had a pretty nice chat to her while she was doing her exercise. =) It's so nice to get such cooperative patients as compared to those who just cant be bothered/wallows in self-pity and refuses to help themselves. I mean, nobody blames you if you're sad and depressed abt the state you're in. But ppl are trying to help you and you're the only one who makes a loss if you refuse to buck up/lift your spirits and stuff. It's not like the world is abandoning you, you know. =/
In more crude terms, show some appreciation pls.

Hmm today I got to observe OperationalTherapy as well coz it was held at the same place. Basically PhysioTherapy deals more w the lower limbs while OperationalTherapy deals w the upper limbs. Physio tries to help you regain your basic mobile abilities like walking and stuff while Operational helps you gain back your ability to take care of youself such as wearing clothes, etc. Operational also deals w your cognitive ability as well if I'm not wrong.
Btw one of the OT there was frm HC too haha. She said she's frm S63 last time lol. =P
Observing OT today was as interesting as PT was boring. =X Lol.

I almost had lunch alone today. =( Coz Jasmine didnt come, Melanie's had her lunch alr, and I dont have anyone else's contact no. Plus I dont think the Physios there wanted to have lunch w me, unlike nice WanNing on monday. =( Sadness. Initially I wanted to just buy snacks and sit somewhere to eat+read my book until Willie suddenly appeared frm nowhere and saved me haha. I ended up bringing him to NUS canteen hehe. Thanks for accompanying me! =D

Is friday a public hol? =/

Why are you MIA. T_T

TAG Day 2

2009-11-24T22:12:00.002+08:00

Went for my attachment agn today. =) Somehow reached earlier than ytd. -.- So I had alot of spare time and didnt feel like waiting in the rehab centre so went to read my storybook in the canteen instead.
Today I was attached to this physio called Mujeeb. He's a pretty cool guy who talks quite fast. In the morning I wasnt used to it and couldnt rlly understand what he was saying lol. And his walking speed is even faster than his speech. T_T Haha but hey he said tt I'm the fastest student he's seen so far! Achievement leh hehe. x)

I was stuck to him the whole of today, unlike ytd where I was passed arnd. Went to visit patients w all kinds of surgery/disability. We visited many more patients today than ytd and it was kinda overwhelming so not all of the info tt I received registered in my brain. =( Well, frm what I rmb, there was this person who had an accident while biking or smth like. She ended up fracturing her right shoulder blade, the bone at the left butt, right hip and her toe. Apparently injuring those places causes frking lots of pain and due to the sheer number of places she hurt herself, she basically cant move arnd w/o pain coz she cant put her weight on alot of places. Mujeeb tried to get her to sit up and she screamed when her left leg was moved. The amt of pain was totally shown on her face lah. =( Sadness. And what made it worse was tt she's actly a nurse who was working in tt ward before her accident so she understands the seriousness of her injuries thoroughly, making it harder for her to accept it and thus low spirits. =( Oh well hope she gets well soon.

Then there was this 76yrold woman who had a 20cmx30cm cyst at the abdomen area, somewhere behind her stomach. the cyst was HUGE and contained 2.5L of blood. o.O Mujeeb showed me the XRay pics but I couldnt rlly figure where the cyst was. It was kinda hard imagining the position of the various organs frm the XRay even though I roughly know where the human organs are. =/ Haha oh well.

Oh do you know tt hospitals have hotel-room like suites? The one I visited was actly Ward 66 Bed 16, but coz it was a special room, it's called the Sapphire Suite. -.- 500bucks per night omg. I saw another one on the floor below and it was called Crystal Suite wth. What's w all the jewel names.

Another interesting case was this 22yrold guy who got his left thumb chopped off due to some freak accident at his workplace. Mujeeb showed me his op photos which were like omg. They actly did an op to attach his left hand to the muscle on the left thigh to allow for vascularization. It'll be left like tt for abt 3-4 weeks, after which there'll be another op to separate the hand and the thigh muscle I think. Another physio saw the pics and she was like "Omg this is an art piece!" haha wth.

Other less interesting cases involved this talk w a pre-op patient who had some pretty interesting life stories of his own to tell haha. Then a fair amt of patients who either did exercises in bed or walked arnd under Mujeeb's instructions.

Overall, I think today was quite an exposure to me as well. Even though the things tt the physios do for today and tmr were somewhat similar, the patients tt I saw were of a large variety, w ytd's being mostly kids while today's being mostly adults. And the views tt I got frm the various physios abt their jobs were pretty interesting as well. But one thing in common among the 2 physios I was attached to so far was tt they were all proud of what they were doing. =)

I didnt know tt blood clots could be so dangerous, even if they're far away frm highly impt organs like the brain, lungs and heart.
I also didnt know tt cancer in the bladder can cause a person to die frm too much loss of blood. =/

TAG Day 1

2009-11-23T20:46:00.004+08:00

Started my attachment at NUH (Physiotherapy) today and it was wayyyyy too cool! I was attached to this grp of 3 paediatricians for today namely Fauzan, Karen and Wan Ning. =) They were rlly nice and friendly, making me feel at ease coz I didnt know what to say haha. But they did most of the talking and introduced me to the things that they do in a day's work. I was just following and observing them while they go arnd visiting their patients in the various wards and I must say, there's rlly alot of walking arnd. Plus they walk very fast haha. I had to increase my walking pace even though usually I walk quite fast alr.

Anyways, I followed Fauzan first and his first patient was this girl w a curved spine. She had her operation not long ago and was well on her way to recovery. =) Then he passed me to WanNing who brought me to see this 4yrold girl who had a failed liver transplant and thus had to wait for another op. She was in a bad mood today and threw a tantrum but after alot of pacifying, she finally smiled and her smile was rlly sweet! =D Haha. Then we visited this woman who gave birth not too long ago. It's alr her 5th child so the pregnancy mightve hurt her back coz her stomach muscles might not be so strong after all the pregnancies. After tt we went to PICU and visited this 8yrold girl who got a virus arnd 1 week ago. Apparently this virus attacked her brain so currently she's kinda in comatose state so physiotherapists have to help her exercise her joints and limbs so tt when she recovers, she wouldnt need to take as long a time to gain back the function of her stiff body. Oh WanNing also allowed me a peek into the nursery, where the babies are taken care of after they're born so tt mummy can get some rest haha. There was this baby who was bawling his/her lungs out lol.

Then it was lunch time! Went for lunch w WanNing at NUS and heyy the food there is quite cheap! Haha. Met my sis there who was standing in line after me but apparently couldnt recognise my back view until quite some time later. -.- Lol. During lunch WanNing talked more abt the job and her experience/route to becoming a physiotherapist. After tt we went back and WanNing taught Karen and Fauzan (and me) Infant Massage coz previously she went for this course abt it. It's interesting to see how they actly go out and learn all these new stuff and if it's useful, find some way to implement it in the hospital and stuff. =) At 3pm I followed Fauzan arnd on his rounds and visited his patients. We went to PICU again and this time it's to visit this young boy who had leukemia but due to complications along the way, is currently in comatose state as well and has a whole lot of medications, taken in using tubes and stuff. Did I mention that both PICU patients tt I visited needed machinery to help them breathe? Physiotherapists not only help them exercise their stiff limbs but also to make sure that they're able to perform the most basic action needed to live - to breathe. Which means they help them clear their respiratory system of phlegm and everyth.

After leaving the PICU, we went to the MICU which was where the premature babies and such were being taken care of. Fauzan went there to check on this rlly cute baby girl and haha my heart melted when she cried lol. And Fauzan's rlly great w handling babies! Somehow she was calmed down by him and everyth haha so cuteeee. x) After spending quite a long time at MICU, we went back to the rehab centre and Fauzan told me I could go off alr coz their working hours was 8am-5pm. There he started talking to me abt keeping my choices open to possible careers and not to decide so soon. But it's ironic coz he told me he alr made up at least 3/4 of his mind to become a physiotherapist in the middle of J2 lol. Oh well. =)

Anyway I think today was rlly interesting and qutie insightful as well. A rlly refreshing experience for me coz it's not everyday tt anyone gets to rlly understand the work of a paediatrician. So I think I can say that it was an eye opener for me. =D It rlly got me interested but hmm, I shall heed advice and keep my options open first haha. =P

On a more serious note, visiting those 2 kids in the PICU wards rlly affected me quite a bit. They're so young yet deprived of their freedom. Instead, they're subjected to such suffering, not even in a conscious state. =( It rlly made me realise how fortunate I am (as well as every other healthy person) to be able to move abt so freely, w such little worries abt my health. It gives another meaning to life and being alive.

Looking forward to the attachment tmr. =)

HCCO Interaction 09!

2009-11-22T23:24:00.002+08:00

HCCO Interaction 09 was held on the 21st Nov! It was awesome and fun and aww-so-sad for those who couldnt make it. Haha.

Started out the day by waking up at 5.45am in the morning feeling feverish, groggy-headed and sore throat. =( Super unwell. But oh well, somehow managed to drag myself out of bed. Luckily my dad was free to send me to sch if not I think I would've died on the bus, carrying so much snacks, a pail, a shoebag and my own bag. =X Haha. Reached sch at arnd 7am and after a brief briefing (lol), we started getting the goodie "bags" ready. Well, the "bags" were just the snacks taped tgt lah haha. But hey, it's good enough considering tt the ppl getting it werent paying for anything at all.
They shld srsly feel happy abt being invited. Lol.

Yep at arnd 8.15am we started moving instru to LT3 and smart Laiweng woke up late once again. But luckily she came on time for the HCCO performance. =P It was ~~really~~kinda screwed up so we played a second time which was much better, even though it was still quite bad. =X But oh wells nvm, I'm sure nobody will care hehe.
Then ChewFei began telling the storyline for the day involving 2.8billion worth of assets, a diamonds and pearls encrusted suona, maid, troubled gay, mistresses, buddha, lots of unglam pics, etc. It was actly abt some family drama w the ppl fighting over the inheritance and stuff so the grps were named after each character, and the winning grp would get the inheritance. =D

Then we split up into grps for icebreakers! I was leading Group 1 named FRANCISLAMA! Francislama is actly the CO buddha yep. And my grp consists of Dao Yi, Jeremy, Edwin, Chen Ken, Di Ming, Pearlyn, Shirlene and Jiamin. And my partner of the day was Sherlene! =D Yay IGL partner! Icebreakers were ok, w random pauses here and there coz we couldnt think of what games to play. Other than tt it went pretty well. =)

The first game of the day was telematch held in MPH! It was like this obstacle race and there were 3 teams competing at the same time. The team w the shortest timing would win. Well, one of the obstacles was the spinning thing which I've mentioned in my previous post. Haha I think my grp had the most casualty one. Edwin went first and he fell down, followed by Di Ming who crashed into the stack of chairs at the side. =X I thought after my fall during the trial, the gamemasters would've taken note to ensure the safety of the game like, making sure the participants stabilise before they continue or smth. But apparently not so, well nvm. =( Anyways, the rest of the game was ok and we ended up being last of the 3 teams. But I realised tt being an IGL, it doesnt matter to me whether my grp wins ornot coz I was happy alr seeing my grp put so much effort into the game. =D Guess that's what it means by feeling proud of them haha.

Next game was musical chairs. This time round we got 2nd out of the same 3 grps. Got improvement! Grp 2 was funny, there was like this small sized boy who was the lone survivor for that grp for quite a few rounds. So pro haha. In the last round it was Shirlene (my IGR) VS 2 girls frm grp 3. Pity the instruction Dominic gave was "Dont touch the chair" coz Shirlene had the fastest reflex lol.
After that we had to plan for this performance thingy where we had to act/dance according to this piece composed by Beethoven (I forgot the name). I think the "brainstorming session" was quite good coz everyone's starting to talk and contribute ideas for the performance. =D We were released frm the game abit late so we had to go for lunch even though we havent finished the planning yet.
Lunch was not bad. The rice was abit dry but still ok. Sherlene gave me all the eggs haha. There was meeting during lunch where everyone talked abt how to improve/any good feedback and stuff. Headed off for the second part of the games at 12.45.

Next station was the Human Caterpillar by Laiweng. Coz lunch just ended, we didnt want to make anyone puke due to running so we made the 2 grps combine and play the untangling game where everyone grabs someone else's hand and they all work tgt to try to untangle themselves. After that then the real game started and everyone rlly put their all into playing. =D Sherlene and I were busy cheering them on as well and I think it was quite well done although overall we lost to the other grp by 1 pt. =) At least we managed to cheer louder them them woohoo~!

After that was Peeing Monkey, GaoTian's station. It involved trying to get as much water into pails tt were placed arnd 5m away while being pushed arnd on a trolley - an attempt to make you lose your aim. We lost again (lol wth) but I think we did a good job making the person frm the other grp get wet (HAHA). x) Watching the snrs play arnd w the water gun was funny as well lol.
Oh for this game there was a bonus round where a person has to aim at a basin using a water gun and try to get as much water inside as possible. Coffee (Edwin) was sent for this round and apparently it was his first time using a water gun! Haha but it was rlly good for a first timer srsly lol. The amt of water he collected was 1cm lower in water level than the guy frm the other grp though. But hey the other guy was a pro at water guns so cannot compare lah haha. x)

Ok I shld stop here for now coz it's pretty late and I have attachment at NUH (Physiotherapy) tmr morning. Wonder how it'll be like. I dont even know who's my "colleague" lah. -.- I hope he/she is a nice person if not I wont know who to eat lunch w. T_T Haha ok gdnight! =)

This White Rat Fell Down

2009-11-20T21:34:00.003+08:00

We had games trial in sch today coz it's HCCO interaction tmr! =D
It was basically the exco ppl testing out their games and the IGLs getting familiar w them ~~as well as become the white rats for game testing~~.
(Yes I'm an IGL.)
Missed the stop this morning and ended up alighting after Island Creamery. -.- Walked all the way back to sch, hoping tt nobody realised I overslept lol.
First game tt we tested in the morning was the craziest one coz it involved spinning arnd like mad which rlly causes one to LOSE BALANCE COMPLETELY. And in the midst of my dizziness I fell down, earning myself abrasions on my left knee and elbow. T_T Poor me. And just now when I was bathing the soap got into my wounds and my thoughts went frm whatever I was thinking to "WHAT THE ^*#&%$#%$^#$^#%*^%@^&@^*&!!!!!!!"
Luckily no one laughed when I fell, at least not to my knowledge. Coz if someone laughed I think I would've punched him/her on the spot.
=(

[My eldest sis just came back today and bought alot of things for us to eat. She also complains tt Poppy stinks like hell.
Poppy is my dog btw, and she asked me to type this.]

Okay continue.
The rest of the games were pretty fun. =) Think the ppl are gonna have fun tmr heh. =D
After finishing everyth we went for lunch at Aston's in 6th Avenue which was super nice and ultra filling at the same time.
After tt we went looking for things to buy for prizes, ended up shopping at ShengSiong in CCK. Interesting how shopping can facilitate bonding among a grp of girls lol.
Ended up lugging 2 big bags of stuff home and the bus trip was horrible. Couldnt sit down so had to stand in the standing area where the stupid metal bar thingy kept knocking my hip bone. T_T

Why no flood today lol.
I think my health is rlly slowly deteriorating srsly. I think I can feel an upcoming fever. Hope I dont faint/pass it to my grp ppl tmr. =/

~~Can you pls show some concern. =(~~

Painter of the Wind

2009-11-19T23:36:00.001+08:00

I'm somewhere b/w falling sick and completely healthy at the moment.
Horrible feeling. =(

Recently the Korean drama tt I've been watching ended! It's called Painter of the Wind (风之画员) and it srsly worth a watch. Go look for it on tudou.com or smth ppl! I strongly recommend it and it's only 20 episodes!
Sadly 20 episodes is not enough for avid fans like me. =(

Anyways, below are some of the songs used in the drama. =)

I love the weather nowadays! Rainnnnnnnn haha. =D
And I love walking in the drizzle. =)

This afternoon Yann called me when I was sleeping and asked me to go out w her and KY coz they just ended their attachment at NTU for the day. We went to City Hall where KY left after a short while so Yann and I just walked arnd.
It was kinda like the last time, just walking arnd talking. But this time we bought a shirt each. =) My mum says I shldnt have bought white but I felt tt it was the best choice out of all the colours available there. Oh well haha. =)

We went trying out nail polish and the salesgirl was bushuang at me. -.-
Fine I was being rlly dumb but it was an honest mistake on my part. It's not like I didnt apologise, there's rlly no need to give me tt kind of irritating look and talk to me in that tone of voice.

Tmr there's games runthrough for HCCO interaction! I'm Interaction Group Leader (IGL)! Haha I hope my grp will be fun. =D Sad that I'll be alone though, if only Sherlene can br IGL of the same grp as me. =( Haha oh well. It shd be fun though. =P

~~I miss you.~~

SPACEBAR!

2009-11-17T00:19:00.002+08:00

On Sat night (14th Nov), an ~~illegal~~ gathering of Aresians was held!
Ok fine I acknowledge the attendance of ppl outside of the fac too. x)
It was at O'Leary's Bar and Grill, somewhere at the Singapore Flyer there. The venue was rlly cool, cept that it was a long walking distance frm the MRT station and the lights could've been dimmer haha. I think the ticket design is rlly rlly cool as well! =D
Bad MelWee wanted to meet earlier coz she wanted help in putting on eyeliner, but she ended up being later than the original meeting time. -.-
Hmm.. It felt like just a session to hang arnd and spend time w friends w/o any other care in the world haha. There were food and an endless supply of drinks as well as performances and games. Watching ChengSiang and ChinKiat try to feed each other food was srsly entertaining haha. And Warren was so cute LOL. xD Oh oh Theresa looked so cute w those alien ears too! Haha. =D
Not to forget tt KY and ZY were trying to "take a photo w" someone. -.- Lol.

After the event some of us went to hang arnd and talk for a bit at Raffles City where I shared a cup of Iced Chocolate w ZY and Trixie, as well as Potato Salad w Trix. The potato salad was rlly nice! But I think if I had tried to finish the whole thing by myself I would've gotten sick of it. Nice, but a smaller amt would be good. Luckily we shared. =)

Left at arnd 11.25pm.
Reached home at 12.30am. Latest so far I think. =X

Yep tt kinda concludes the fac outing. It was pretty fun and cool on the whole. =D Haha can see tt the fac comm rlly put alot of effort into it. =)

I havent been doing much stuff lately. Havent even touched hol hw. =X I shld start soon srsly. I've just been lazing arnd, going online until 2am at night and then waking up at arnd 10-11am in the mornings. Have been sleeping and dreaming so much tt I get confused abt my dreams when I wake up. -.-
But I still vaguely rmb who I dream of and I'm kinda happy abt it lol. xD Ok I dont think I'm making much sense. Must be due to the lack of brain activity since hols started omg. D=

Went to Chinatown w my parents today for shopping. =D Bought 2 dresses which frankly speaking, I dont think I'll ever wear. =( Either tt or it'll be a long time before I wear them. Oh well. Rlly suitable clothes are hard to find. =(

Say My Final Farewell to PW

2009-11-12T23:04:00.002+08:00

Had OP this morning at 9am.
It was... ok I guess. The presentation part wasnt so screwed up. The Q&A didnt rlly go very well but at least my ans made sense. Pity I was too blur at tt moment to round up my ans properly. =(
Oh well.

IT'S OVER ANYWAY!!

Yep and OP marks the end of a very long and drawn-out PW. We've worked for it and now all that's left is to wait for March next yr. So let's all cross our fingers and wait patiently. x)

Thanks a great deal to Theresa, MelWee, Fabian and Songyu for being fabulous groupmates! Initially I thought tt our grping was abit weird but hey, it worked out in the end. =)

Stayed back after the morning session to watch the afternoon session. I think overall the presentations frm our class wasnt too bad. Well, the qns were hard though. That one can't be helped so haha, don't think abt it too much ppl.
Oh hmm we should not forget those interesting presentations which involved gay voices and weird accents. x) Haha no offence.

After everyth was over we headed over to Island Creamery. Shared a double scoop w Ziyan. I forgot the name of the flavour I chose but Ziyan chose Nutella. It was nice. =D We left pretty soon coz there was nth much to do. The grp separated and I went home.

Fac outing on Sat night! I'm still thinking abt what I shld wear haha. =P

Of Cookies and Glass Jars

2009-11-10T10:19:00.003+08:00

Woke up earlier than usual this morning (yes 9.10am is earlier than usual) coz I'll be going to school later for OP.
Sigh OPOPOPOPOPOPOP I dont like cue cards I prefer holding tt piece of A4 paper lehh. How? =( I think I got too used to it alr.
And I've been meaning to memorize my script since ages ago but apparently havent done so.
Procratinator

Spent the wee hours of this morning talking to Ziyan abt cookie sealed inside a glass jar w very very thick and hard-to-break walls.
Haha.
How to get the cookie? Any suggestions?
My conclusion was to just wait for the owner of the cookie to open the glass jar himself and offer the cookie to you. Coz in any case it's impolite to attempt to take the cookie by force, w/o any permission.

Or maybe it'll be best to just forget abt getting the cookie altogether?

I've been listening to songs by Lala! She's super cute I tell you haha. =P

These are my 3 fav songs at the moment. =D
I think the second one is very touching if you listen to it at the right moments it can make you cry.
And Lala's voice is not bad, I like. =P Her songs are all written by herself leh! Including the composing and everything. So pro right! =)

Who says a watched pot doesnt boil?

2009-11-07T23:10:00.004+08:00

This morning my mum and dad went out to market so nearing afternoon she called home and asked me to cook porridge first before she came back to prepare the dishes.
I dont recall ever cooking porridge before. Or maybe I did but I forgot or smth.
So anyway. It wasnt what you'd call a sucessful attempt.
...
Ok fine I burnt it alright. T_T
Haha at first it was going fine one lor! Then when it was going to be done I just left it thinking that I would go back later to turn off the fire.
Obviously I forgot. =X
Ended up w a pot of burnt porridge so no choice had to cook another pot. This time I stayed w the pot throughout the whole time it was cooking so it was ok. At least I THOUGHT it was ok. When my mum came back she said actly tt pot was alr a bit burnt too. =S
Sigh. Fine I rlly dont have the talent for cooking. =(
Haha.

Received a earful from my mum for the burnt porridge and had to scrub the pot clean of all the black stains at the bottom. Used SANDPAPER omg who uses sandpaper to scrub pots one. -.- Lol it was kinda tough but I managed to get the pot clean again. =D
But scrubbing the pot caused me to miss out in eating pineapple tt my dad cut. T_T Usually nobody in my family eats pineapple one cept for me but somehow today everyone ate and left only 1 pathetic piece for me. D= So mean right.

I realised one of the cons of holidays - I get into more conflicts w my mum due to the increased amt of time staying at home. =S

Ytd went to library to return books and borrowed somemore. =D I shall fill this holidays w books! Regardless of whether we need to do book review or not hmph!

A Lvls are starting!! Jiayou to all the snrs out there and all the best! You guys confirm can do it one dont give up! =D
Oh oh and jiayou to all J1s for OP too! Let's aim for 100% As! [Sounds impossible but hey, a person can dream alright.]

x)

051109

2009-11-05T16:33:00.002+08:00

Holidays have officially started! =D
Going to school today was kinda a waste of travelling time coz "lessons" were only from 8 - 9.30am.
Weather was good in the morning. =) Rainnnnnnn! Not as much wind as I would have liked but still. =P
I kinda miss looking forward to seeing someone sitting at the class bench every morning though. Oh well. =/ Somehow there's no more incentive to reach the classbench early haha. =X

Started off the day with principal's address. My attention span only lasted halfway through. After the halftime mark I either started talking or just stoning, not paying attention. =X Mr Ang's retirement came as a surprise. Somehow there's always certain tchrs/sch staff retiring when my batch is having sch term. Hmm I dunno how to say this but haha it's weird. Kinda like a curse or smth lol.
I wonder who's gonna be the new principal hmmm.
Asked Mr Heng abt who's gonna be our new tchrs next yr and he said he can't confirm yet, although there prolly wont be much changes. So I guess the only changes are of GP and Econs tutors?

After the principal's address there was Special CT Session. Mr Heng talked abt some stuff which I thought was pretty much mentioned throughout the yr alrdy. But still, good to have feedback abt this kinda stuff. =P It wasnt much of a closure I guess coz the whole journey isnt over yet - there's still next yr to go through tgt isnt there. Haha.

"Must learn to forgive and forget."
"Dont need to forgive lah. Just forget can alrdy."

Lol.

After CT session KY kept me company while she waited for her dad and I waited for 10am to arrive. [Thanks ahma! =D] Went to do the Resilience Factor Survey or smth like tt. The person said it was some kinda personality test.
Hmm.
I can't help but think that the sch picked those w bad results to go for the survey? =/

I think having too much spare time on my hands isnt good coz I keep brooding over a certain topic. The same thoughts keep going round and round and round in my head. I wanna get out of this situation; I need a solution, an answer, a response, anything. But all I can do at the moment is wait.

Waiting is a test of patience.
And it can get very lonely.

Obsession

2009-11-03T21:57:00.003+08:00

PW was ok today. Other than the fact that I need to slow down my speech coz apparently my timing is too short. -.- And I need to get even more familiar w my script. Sigh.
And Mdm Chen says that my voice pitch is damn high and tt I should vary my voice tone more. Well, it's not as if I can tell whether my talking pitch is high ornot but I thought it was normal. =X
But my response to the qn was better today yay haha. =D

I want PW to be over soon.
But I dont wanna start on hol hw.
Much less on next yr's work.
=(

Today is crazy when it comes to highlighter.
Grah.
Seems like there's nobody I can turn to when I wanna talk abt these kinda things.
Oh well.

Tmr is gonna be Math lecture and then watching the rest of the grp present.
Maybe I will take the time to get familiar w my script? Or maybe I shld just finish reading my book before the due date this Fri.

Where's MelWee when I wanna talk to her. =(

Domo-kun Oreo Cheesecake

2009-11-02T21:29:00.005+08:00

I promised that I would upload a photo of the cheesecake me and my sis made if my eldest sis uploads it.
So yea she did haha. Here goes.

It looks superb right!!!! =D
The looks part at least. I think the taste can still be improved on.
But ehhhh first try only mahh. =P I rlly think it's not bad for a first try lol.

Just now was talking to Melwee abt crushes and I think it was quite..insightful? Lol ok maybe tt's the wrong description. But it was kinda thought invoking hahaha. x)

Grahhh gotta memorize OP script!

Philadelphia Cream Cheese burns Pockets

2009-11-01T16:38:00.005+08:00

Guess what! Had my first ever attempt at baking a cake w/o any adult supervision! Well, my sis isnt an adult coz she isnt 21 yet.
And let's just forget the fact that the OREO CHEESECAKE didnt need any baking of any sort. x)

OREO CHEESECAKE LEHHHH
I know you guys out there are jealous MUAHAHAHAHA.

I thought it was going to be simple to make. I mean, it's kinda just mixing all the ingredients tgt, how hard can it get, right?
WRONG.
Beating the cream cheese w/o letting it soften enough first was hell, it's almost impossible haha. And my arm got RLLY tired holding the mixer so long and trying to make the batter creamy. T_T

Oh well but it was worth it I guess. =) We tasted bits of the batter that were left on spoons we used and it was rlly nice!! =D
People who want the recipe, it's here:
http://decadenze.com/blog/2006/07/20/classic-oreo-cheesecake/
Take note that the cream cheese is rlly expunsive though. I bought 750g of it at 15bucks. =X Totally consumes all my $$ lahh. =(
Haha but other than that, have fun. Lol. =)

The cake's supposed to be for my eldest sis for her bday. And since she likes Domo-kun, we decorated the cake w a picture of Domo-kun, made up of chocolate rice and oreo haha. Shall upload a pic of it here if I can get hold of one. =)

Anyway, starting frm tmr it's the last week of school! =D Kinda looking forward to the hols, other than the fact it means that J2 yr is approaching as well. =X Haha but I'm kinda glad that I'm able to promote w/o any trouble. =) I think I've gotta work rlly hard next yr.
Did I mention that I got into TAG attachment? Physiology at NUH. =D
And I'm rlly looking forward to HCCO interaction as well as CONCERT 2010! So eggciting omg haha. =)

Oh oh it's confirmed tt MrLoo will continue teaching us next yr! =D YAY!

Actly these few days at home wasnt happening at all, other than the baking part. Oh well, I guess life can get boring at times, even though there's alot of freedom.
And I only end up missing ppl in my spare time lol.
Oh well.

My parents are coming home later tonight. I better go tidy up my room haha.

When it's all drawing to an end

2009-10-30T01:06:00.002+08:00

Had our very first OP presentation in PW lesson today. Mdm Chen said my delivery was fluent and relatively ok, cept tt I need to memorise my script and so as to have more eye contact w the audience.
And my ans to her qns lacks depth. D=
Haha oh well. I'm glad I still managed to be fluent in front of the class. Somehow the presentation wasnt as nerve wrecking as other presentations I've done before.
I've got a tendency to screw up presentations I think lol.

Just now Laiweng sent me the link to the recording of the piece that NYCO played during the concert 3 yrs ago - 黄河!
Haha I think we were so pro then lah. Well at least I was much more pro then as compared to now. =X I should srsly start honing my basics again. Looking forward to the concert next yr! =D

My parents have gone overseas w my eldest sis and her bf! Which means there's only me and my second sis at home. Been doing housework and stuff lol. Hopefully I wont wake up late for sch tmr. =X
Yay this weekend me and my second sis are going to bake a cheesecake for my eldest sis's bday! =D We finally settled on baking a non-bake cheesecake after surveying alot of people for opinions lol. Hope it goes well haha. =)

Tmr's gonna be another slack day agn. It's gonna be movie, PW, break, PW, movie, grocery shopping. Haha so slack. Oh I have to rmb to return library book tmr. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I havent finished reading it yet though! =/ Oh well.

Speaking of movie during Math tutorial, I think it's kinda sad that we're gonna change tchrs for next yr. I dont rlly wanna change our current tchrs, they're all srsly very nice and tolerant of us even though our class is becoming one of the most notorious class in the whole cohort. =X Haha. But today when Mr Loo came to Bio tut to ask us whether we want to watch movie during Math tut tmr, it seemed to have a ring of finality abt it, like it's gonna be the last tut he's gonna be having w us and we shld cherish it or smth. =/
Then during the last 5 mins of Econs lesson, Mrs Toh broke the news that she most prolly wont be following us up to next yr coz there's a lack in Econs tchrs. =( WHYY! I'm srsly gonna miss her and all her laughter, rlly. Her lessons were rlly fun even though sometimes she just tells us to go read the notes. Not to forget tt she's rlly cute as well. Oh man I'm gonna miss her.
I think I'm gonna miss Ms Kim too. She and her "I'm gonna slap you stupid!" Haha. She might be crude at times, and sometimes too direct in her words. But I think that's just her personality and if you dont take it too srsly, she's a rlly fun tchr. Oh man it sucks to think that during our last lesson w her she was telling me that if I work harder I could most prolly reach an A grade. =X Oh well it's better than being scolded by her during the last lesson though lol.
And Mr Heng! He's like this super ultra caring CT lah, even though I think our class has let him down quite alot of times. He mentioned at the starting of the yr that he's got a great amt of patience and I think I agree. I mean, look at the amt of trouble that our class have gotten into lah, but he still cares so much abt us nevertheless. Grahhhh.

I dont want them to leave! =(

Sigh..

FOS!

2009-10-27T21:52:00.002+08:00

Today's weather was nice.
There was heavy downpour and all,
and I like rain. =)
But haha there was smth that was distracting me frm the rain throughout the whole time. Oh well. It was still enjoyable though. =)

But I think the rain made the library and audi colddd. Haha. Managed to finish my I&R in sch today [finally] and handed it in. So now all tt's left is OP and PW will be officially over!! Whew, it's been quite a long journey haha. But writing reports are srsly maddening. What w all the PI and stuff. Final dash for OP!

We watched Gattaca during bio lecture today! =D The tchr asked who watched it before and all the ny students raised their hands lol. But still, it's a great movie, definitely worth a second watch haha. =D

School ended at 4pm today. There was Festival of Sports and I wanted to watch so I whined abt it to Bochao until she agreed to stay back w me heh. =P Thanks Bobo! Haha. We watched Volleyball for guys and I think it was rlly cool haha. Didnt manage to catch Volleyball for girls but heard that we got second. =D

-----

Gahh my thoughts are pretty messed up.
And so is my English I think. What happened to me lol. =X
Interestingly, after talking for 2 days straight, I dont feel the want to talk (to someone) again anytime too soon. Maybe I'm learning how to give both of us more space haha.

Tmr there's no lessons at all! But still have to go to school. -.-
WHYY. We should just be allowed to have class outing in the morning or smth. That's better than just going to school to stone. =(

When I'm the only one awake in the house

2009-10-26T01:58:00.002+08:00

This week passed by quite eventfully.
I think I can say tt it's actly been quite emotionally draining.
I mean, who cries of sadness in the early morning and is smiling of sheer happiness 1 hr later? It's just completely crazy haha.

Btw I've inherited my sis's laptop. =D

Right so anyway, it's been emotionally draining coz of results. =(
It's horrible, rlly. I was relieved tt I didnt get U for Chem, but still. It could've been better and I know it. It's not like I didnt work hard. I know I've improved and my basic understand has indeed become clearer. But I still know that at this stage, I'm not supposed to be getting this kinda results.

Math was a confirm U coz of the massive amt of S&S and Int qns - both topics which I suck at the most. Quite a disappointment coz I was alr pretty confident in the other topics. But oh well, I've only got myself to blame for not being ready and prepared for all the topics.

Not to forget that for both Chem and Math, I could've jumped up by 2 grades each if I wasnt so careless.
So exactly like what Yisheng always complains abt me.

Bio was horrible. Like rlly rlly horrible.
I was glad that my mcq and essay were better than usual. But structured srsly dragged my down like crazy. I rlly dunno what happened honestly. It's not like I didnt know my facts. I shld've known enough to pass at least. But when I was scrutinising my ans when they were going through the papers, I realised that my ans werent answering the qns at all. I dunno whether isit coz I interpreted wrongly, or I read wrongly or I just rlly didnt know how to do. But I rlly shld've been able to score much higher than what I got, if not scrape a pass.
Bio's a real disappointment this time round. =(

GP essay was what cheered me up. I mean, srsly. I've nvr topped the class in ANYTHING since like, I dunno. Sec 1 prolly. Haha wth. well, 31/50 is still only a B and isnt enough to save anything else [e.g. compre]. But I rmb fretting over it after the paper coz I thought I chose the wrong qns. But hey the results turned out to be a pleasant surprise so haha. Was cheered up for a whole. =)
Oh but compre sucked shit. Havent seen my paper yet coz I went for appt but I think it's rlly pretty badly done. One of the worst in the span of this yr I guess.
Why do slipups ALWAYS have to happen during exams???
Haha oh well what can I do.
Buck up man. Stay consistent.

Ok so far all my grades arent what you can say great. I dont think it's even considered acceptable, looking at the amt of Us I got. And we're getting back Econs. From all the bad things tt I've heard so far, I wont be surprised if it's another U for me. =(
All I hope is to get an S, if I cannot scrape an E.

This weekend was not bad haha. Saturday was spent mostly w Rachel coz we went to visit ASD and got to see lots of dogs. Some of the dogs there have rlly sad stories like getting abandoned in rlly bad states, or getting caught in traps when they run in the wild. There's this dog, I forgot her name, which got trapped in a trap and after arnd like 2 weeks she was spotted limping somewhere w her hind leg gone. Imagine the pain and trauma she mustve gone through. And the most heart-melting thing was that when the ppl went to take care of her she was still very friendly and was a complete darling.
She got adopted into a real nice family. =)
That's just one of the touching stories there haha. Being there and listening to all these stories made me feel that hey, actly all these dogs are rlly special. They also have diff personalities like humans, they have mood swings and such as well. They also deserve respect and proper care.
Oh well. I think I would like to go there and be a volunteer next time. =)

Rachel and I hitchhiked a ride frm a couple of rlly nice uncles out of the area to Kranji MRT station. We then took the train to Bishan and walked arnd. Stopped in this bookstore and spent quite a long time in it reading books haha. x) Then Rach had to meet her parents so I went w her to SengKang since I had time haha. Walked arnd a bit then met her whole family lol. =P They're rlly nice ppl! Haha and I accompanied them as they went to get a watch for Rach.
Eh Rach your watch is so expunsive as compared to mine! Lol. And I dont believe the shopkeepers when they claim that they only have the display piece and no new pieces. Eveyone knows that in business you gotta keep stock unless the supplier ran out of stocks of it's a limited edition, which I think neither applies to current context haha. Oh well.

After buying the watch they were going to eat dinner alr and were heading to Tampines so couldnt send me to sch, so I just went off by myself. Smsed Lowell to ask him the shortest way to get to sch and found out that he was at CompassPoint too but somehow we didnt see each other lol. Nvm haha. Followed his instructions but in the end still had to approach some stranger at the busstop to ask for directions. -.- Srsly you owe me one for this. Lol. Managed to get to KAP at 7.35pm to meet Huifang and Liwen for dinner before scream. Nat came too. =D

After dinner we went back to sch and watched Alone coz it wasnt our turn yet. I dont like horror movies! It's too scary. It's worse when you're sitting so near the screen and there's no cushion to hug. D= Jiajun I'm not a noob dont call me one! =/
Haha we went in for the trail after and that I cant say that it's scarier thant the movie hahahha but hey, council srsly put in alot of effort into making the thing. I'm impressed. o.O Lol. Oh well.
The thing ended quite late but luckily I managed to get a ride frm Joanne(?) who was rlly nice even though we're not familiar w each other. THANKs A BIG BUNCH SRSLY. =D

Reached home at 11.45, turns out tt in my whole family only my mum was asleep lol wth. Oh well.
Poppy kinda went crazy after smelling all the dog smell on my jeans lol.

Grah I'm not looking forward to Econs. =(

Ok I shld go sleep it's so late. =)

I'm still thinking of you omg.
I can't stop.

211009

2009-10-21T21:36:00.012+08:00

Today's a bad day.
Really really bad.
I very nearly lost control of my emotions just now.
Almost blew up at my mum, which I think might've led to disastrous results.
I think it's due to getting back Math and Chem today.
And also the general down mood of the ppl arnd me.
Or maybe I'm the one causing ppl arnd me to feel down.
Sorry Rach for affecting your mood. Sorry Yisheng for letting you down.

What's the point of studying so hard? If you dont get good results it's equivalent to wasting time. Coz results are the only thing that people use to judge you.
Thus bad results = nvr study.

Omg I rlly dont wanna think abt it anymore.
Everytime I think abt it I wanna cry.
I think I'm rlly disappointed in myself.

191009

2009-10-19T23:57:00.002+08:00

I dunno why but today wasnt fun at all. =(
Felt totally sian the whole day. And ended up as a sad sad girl at night.
Tried packing my table but only managed to shift the whole mess to the floor. The floor has a larger surface area for me to sort everything out.
Now my room's floor is ultra messy and I gotta clean everything up before I go to bed.
I havent done up second draft of I&R I'm getting lazy stopppppp procrastinating!

I dont wanna get my papers back arghhhhh.

Nowadays there's alot of life and death related things going on arnd me. It's kinda upsetting to a certain degree.
Death isnt that scary. It's all those regrets that are sad.

Why on earth did I fall for this kinda guy.
Whyy omg whyyyyyyyyy.
=(

A Grumpy Makeover

2009-10-18T16:32:00.005+08:00

Yay my blog had a makeover! =D Haha this blogskin is so cute omg. Albeit the makeover is like, from EMO to GRUMPY, and Melwee said the toast looked so angry, but haha I dont care. x)
The links are still under construction though. And honestly speaking I dont feel like facing the trouble of constructing it. =X
I added a cbox coz people have been complaining they can't see my pretty flashbox. =( Why! Flashbox is so muxh nicer than cbox lor. Oh well it's your loss haha. I dont think there'll be alot of tags anyway lol.
Oh oh even though I rlly like this nice new skin, Yann you still owe me one. ^^

Right so anyway, 1 whole week has gone by since the end of Promos. It's been fun. =) I shall talk abt sabbs.

Day 1 - Street Jazz
Whoa it was super muscle ache-inducing. All the crunches and stretching at the start of the lesson. I used to think that my abdominal muscles [I refuse to say ABS] were quite strong. But that session totally changed my view. Apparently my abs are non-existent. T_T Sigh. Oh well, at least I could do the stretching part. =D I'm become more flexible alr yay.
The instructor was this kinda small-sized lady called Sheila. She's super cute and hyper omg! Haha. Not to forget that she kinda looks like Portia lol. Yea and I think she made the lesson rlly fun and enjoyable, coz she keeps on saying lame stuff haha. So cute. x)
We learnt 12 eights of If You Seek Amy by Britney Spears. =D The learning part was quite intimidating coz there were quite a few dancers in the class and they could catch the steps so fast! Meanwhile I took a super ultra long time to get familiar w everything. =( How come dancers are so pro. The twins were in the class also and omg they dance very well! Make people like me and Yann feel so zibei lah omg haha.
Anyway I think dance studios are cool. Haha. ^^

Day 2 - Dancesport Aesthetic Programme
Ah haha although both my sabbs are dance sabbs, they're rlly diff. In this one we learnt stuff like ChaCha, Rock'n'Roll, Waltz and Sambal(?).
We didnt rlly learn routines lah, just the most basic steps involved in each dance. And I realised in these dances the guy doesnt rlly have to do much. It's mostly the girls doing all the turning and stuff, while the guy does the leading haha. Well it was quite cool, getting exposure to this kinda dances. I mean, it's not like I'm gonna take up lessons on this kinda dances anywhere in the near future lol. The instructors were Daryl and Pamela and they teach quite well. =D Too bad the session wasnt long enough and I think they had to cut abit on the Sambal part, thus making it not as enjoyable as the previous dances before it.
It's just a pity Highlighter wasnt there to be my partner. T_T Haha.

Now that I think abt it, I've been meeting quite a few Pamelas nowadays. Hmm.

Anyway. Ytd evening I went out to celebrate the Twin's bday. =) But only spent 1hr plus w them coz after that I left for KBG to meet w Yann. I went to attend a service at her church about what would you do if you had 1 month left to live. Haha my first time stepping into a church. The people there were all super ultra friendly I was kinda taken aback lol. I think Cherlyn is super cute. ^^ It was a youth service so I wasnt too intimidated lol. The talk was not bad, quite inspiring in certain ways. Took back a few learning points as well as some nice quotes. =)

"Schedule your priorities, so that you dont have to prioritise your schedule."
"We should learn how to add life to our years, not add years to our lives."

I also got to experience for the first time what a service is like. Thanks Yann for inviting me, although the travelling time back home took so long. x)

We're getting back results this coming week! The more I think abt how I answered my papers, the more scared I am of facing my results. =X It doesnt help that I've been tidying my room which made me look through my notes and realise how badly I did. Oh no. =( I rlly hope I dont do TOO badly. =(

I wonder what's for CT session this friday. Coz I'm gonna miss it due to appt. Again.

Anyway last Sunday I saw this quote in the comics section that I rlly liked.
"一个人并不寂寞，想一个人时才寂寞。"

Post-Promos!

2009-10-12T01:42:00.002+08:00

I thought I would be ultra happy after promos.
Well, relatively much happier I guess.
But there's srsly nothing much to do at home other than packing and tidying stuff. I ended up being a couch potato today and watched more tv than I have in the past... 2mths? Haha.

So anyway yay promos are finally over! =D
Can't say that I'm happy abt it but feeling relieved is a definite. =)
Hmm let's see. GP was kinda horrible as compared to the usual practices/work that we have. Not sure whether it's due to the exam stress or what. =( I'm not hopeful abt it.
Next, Econs wasn't too intimidating. Seems manageable. But you see, the worse thing to happen for an exam is making mistakes without even knowing it. So I'm not confident that I answered correctly but I think I didnt have enough content overall. Oh well. =(
Chem was brain-twisting. The paper didnt seem so hard as compared to the rest. But I'm just not competent enough to be confident abt my ans.
Math was horrible. It's the worst paper out of all 5. D= To think that I was relatively confident that I should be able to pass Math this time round. All hopes were dashed after the paper haha. =X Sighh..
Last was Bio which.. I dunno. Srs lack of time to complete. Wrote quite alot for essay as compared to blocks. But I'm not sure whether I even wrote marking points. Bio's always to unpredictable for me. =(
Right so overall, the situation doesnt seem so good. =X But haha who cares. All I need to know now is that I gotta use this chance to have sme fun before facing my results haha. x)

So on Friday I went out w KimYung and Ziyan. =D Initially couldnt decide where to go haha. Went to ION and had this expensive Hainanese curry rice for lunch. I wont say tt it's bad tasting but I think it's not worth 4.80bucks. =X Oh apparently the boss of that stall was frm RJ and he was like asking "Promos over alr isit?" Haha.

After lunch we sat down and talked for a while before walking arnd. Concluded that it wasnt a place for us students and went to CK across the street. Didnt find it nice and wanted to go to Heeren. So we walked walked walked but there was construction going on outside Heeren so we walked past it w/o knowing haha. xD Then decided to go to Orchard Central. It was a rlly weird place w lots of lifts, a giant statue, very little shops and people, shops selling morbid stuff, interesting corners, 4th floor reaching escalator, etc. We explored 6 floors of the building I think, before collapsing from fatigue on some sofas at the basement. Bought bubbletea and chatted. Oh Xinyu and Portia were there too. 405 reunion haha. x) I forgot to mention that we found this rlly nice shop selling stationery and other nice stuff there. Bought a gang pencil ^^ Haha and spotted ultra nice looking files. =D

After a while KY had to leave for piano lesson so we walked her to the busstop. Then me and Yann took a train to City Hall. We visited this shop we spotted last time during STJ but didnt manage to get anything nice. Then walked arnd Raffles City aimlessly. Managed to cover every single floor haha but the thing is I think we werent rlly shopping. Coz we were chatting throughout the whole time and not rlly paying attention to the things arnd us. I think the shopkeepers must've felt that we were weird, seeing us pass by so many times haha. x) Oh we met this funny person who was trying to sell some interesting decorative stuff. He caught my eye and so I said "Nice." Then he beckoned us to stop and told us to touch the thing he was holding. We did and he jokingly wanted to charge us 50bucks each for touching hahaha. So cute can lol. xD

After that we trained to Bugis and walked arnd agn haha. By then we were getting quite tired and it was quite late alr so I wanted to eat dinner and managed to drag Yann along. After which we went home haha. I think Yann was alr prepared to go home all along but stayed coz I kept complaining that I wasnt ready to go home yet hehe. Thanks Yann! ^^

Trained home and was super tired. Fell asleep w e comp on haha. Sorry to all those people who talked to me but didnt get any response! =X

Right I think I shld leave the rest of the content to some other time. It's rlly pretty late now. [2.08am] Haha.

Dang the person who hosts my blog's pic isnt active on her acc so now the pic's no longer showing. =( Sad lah. I liked that pic, albeit it's abit emo. Guess I'd have to change my blogskin. Oh well. It's high time my blogskin got a revamp anyway. =)

061009

2009-10-06T15:53:00.004+08:00

Compare GP paper with Econs paper.

Similarities:
Both require excessive writing
Both require fast comprehensive reading
Both have a time limit
Both create negative externalities [which should be eradicated so as to prevent loss of welfare]

Differences:
There is not enough time for completion of GP paper, as compared to the excess time available for Econs paper

Just some randomness after Econs.

Chem next. I cant finish revision. Oh well.

My mum's being more paranoid than me it's irritating, I feel like screaming at her.

Promos

2009-10-04T21:59:00.002+08:00

... are for pro people.
Not people like me lah! =(

Damn I'm like freaking out alr graaaaaahh.
I think if I get stuck after looking at the qns paper tmr, w totally nothing to write, I might just start crying on the spot or smth. =(
Omggggg noooo it's 10 alr. I gotta go prepare for GeeeePeeee. T_T
May all the gods in the sky protect me from the evil being called Promos for this week! -prays rlly rlly hard-

Just now I was reading good luck smses frm ppl and started crying w/o any warning.
=(

Nowadays I keep listening to Evanescence songs.

And that word reminds me of cell replication scenescence. Too much bio omg.

2 days

2009-10-03T14:03:00.002+08:00

2 more days before official start of promos.
The tension and stress can't be described.

Smth random from fb.

"...the way you know you have found the right one is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with the person."
Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. - Dinah Craik

To whoever's up there,
Please let me survive promos.

Time-bomb

2009-09-30T19:24:00.002+08:00

Today was another horrible day. Although there werent much lessons but it's mentally and emotionally draining.
Spent the morning w Ms Kim learning how to do essay and compre properly. Cant say it rlly helped, but the session was fun so I guess it was worth it somewhat.

Went for Chem lecture at 10am. Mrs Ho went through Organic Chem timed practice and summary, scolding quite a few people along the way. Then Math tut at 11am, which wasnt rlly productive although I managed to learn how to solve some Inequality qns frm the revision booklet.

Oh during the later part of the tut Mr Loo started talking abt things tt might be tested during promos and such, and I realised how many things I havent revised for Math yet. The amt of stuff tt I dont know at all. And I dunno why but my mood and everything plummeted frm there. Felt absolutely lousy when going for Bio and snapped at Rachel who was jokingly "picking a fight" w me. =(

The more Bio Mr Heng went through the worse I felt, coz everything tt I studied before is just completely gone frm my brain. And there's srsly no time left for another round of revision. Not to mention that I havent finished revision for other subjs as well.

ARGH. =(

Stayed back after sch and attempted to do Math. Got fed-up and went home at 5pm.
Was supposed to buy correction tape, pencil lead and bus concession at Jurong Point. I saw the long line at the top up office so went to Popular first. Then realised that I might not have brought enough money to buy all 3 items so I decided to not the correction tape and pencil lead first. Went back to the interchange and was shocked to find that the line of people increased two fold. Felt super fed up and just boarded the bus home w/o buying anything.

I felt so horrible I started crying when walking home frm the bus stop.

Even my sis commented that I was agitated coz when I have nobody to snap at, I ended up snapping at all the news articles in the U weekly magazine. Which prolly was funny in a way but I dont think I have the mood to laugh.

Happy Birthday Weisin.
I'm sorry I forgot abt it.

Yaaaaawns.

2009-09-28T20:40:00.004+08:00

Today was quite bad,
and I dont think tmr's gonna be any better.

Promos is screwing up my life, srsly. It's making me lose sleep like siao and tt's putting me in a constant bad mood. I was so tired after sch tt I rlly felt like crying. And now I'm all ready to shout at someone/anyone.
Sleeping on the bus has become just pure conk out and jerking awake only when it reaches the interchange. Worse thing is, it doesnt even feel like a proper rest.
Knowing tt there's not enough time left for mugging doesnt help.

Seems like I'm gonna be a sad kid for the days to come. =(

Dont touch me

2009-09-27T12:37:00.003+08:00

This morning was really scary.
Ended up crying right after waking up.
I dont even know whether it really happened; or if I was being over imaginative/paranoid.

I should probably go learn some self-defence martial arts or smth.

It doesnt make sense.

2009-09-27T04:01:00.002+08:00

I'm crazy, blogging at this time of the night haha. There's still a whole day of Math waiting for me tmr. And I have no idea what to do abt IandR.

My comp's dead. Again. =( Utterly saddened by it. Haha I'm hopeless. Everytime my comp dies I feel so sad it's as if... I dunno. For eg last night I actly DREAMT that I could use my comp agn. Not once, but TWICE. Haha. Talk abt addiction. xD
My comp's my bf lah.=D

Nowadays I keep listening to this singer A Lin's songs. I rlly like her voice! Full of power and very soulful~ Haha. =)
But I think I listen to too many love songs alr lah, it gets me thinking abt distracting things. x(

I dont understand.
I was supposed to give up on you alr. But somehow, the feeling keeps coming back to me.
And it actly makes me smile.

~~Damn.~~

I dont like this feeling inside me

2009-09-21T11:34:00.008+08:00

失恋无罪 - A LIN

你说我对你紧紧跟随你觉得疲惫
你一句话就逼我撤退
没想到你说最近选择一个人睡
我忍住眼泪
我尊重眼泪

孤独万岁失恋无罪
谁保证一觉醒来有人陪
我对於人性早有预备
还不算太黑

独身万岁失恋无罪
爱不够爱你的人才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由
难道不珍贵
一个人崩溃不是在犯罪

你说我对你紧紧跟随你觉得疲惫
你一句话就逼我撤退
没想到你说最近选择一个人睡
我忍住眼泪
我尊重眼泪

孤独万岁失恋无罪
谁保证一觉醒来有人陪
我对於人性早有预备
还不算太黑

独身万岁失恋无罪
爱不够爱你的人才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由
难道不珍贵
一个人崩溃不是在犯罪
一个人崩溃并不是在犯罪

孤独万岁失恋无罪
谁保证一觉醒来有人陪
我对於人性早有预备
还不算太黑

独身万岁失恋无罪
爱不够爱你的人才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由
难道不珍贵
一个人崩溃并不是在犯罪
一个人崩溃并不是在犯罪

Check out Save Me From Myself, I Turn to You and Beautiful by Christina Aguilera too. =)

I'm not wasting time.
I'm just trying to get rid of my bad mood.

MAF 09!

2009-09-20T12:36:00.003+08:00

Yay last night wasMAF 09 in sch. =) =)
Haha it was rlly fun even though the whole day was practically wasted argh.
Reached coro at 2.10pm to meet up w Laiweng, Yijiao and Nigel to buy tanbo FOOD. =D Haha tanbo is becoming so gluttonish srsly. =X Bought sushi for lunch which was a bad idea coz it just served to increase my appetite omg. D=
Well so the whole day was spent praccing, moving instruments abt, eating, playing uno, looking out for people, etc. =) Dinner was at 4pm omg. Oh did I mention that tanbo shared a tub of yoghurt? =D Haha it was kinda ew but oh well nobody cares. =P And the strawberry yoghurt was super sweeeeeeet next time buy the mango one ok? If we're ever gonna get yoghurt agn haha.

Well perfomance started punctually at 6. I told my mum that the event starts at 6 but somehow she heard 6.30. =( So she ended up missing quite a bit of the performance in front. Well. to be honest, I kinda feel that the rehearsal sounded better than the actual thing. =X Argh ok nvm. Haha before our item I was at second floor watching the performance AND the crowd haha searching for people lol. The whole place was liked filled w strangers lah haha.

During our performance it was soooo weird ok. Like, the emcee's were right in front of us trying to act out some stuff and we were fidgeting and all behind them. Must've been distracting for the audience haha. Then people couldnt find stands and stuff and had to use chairs. =X I cant say the playing part was any better lol. The acoustics there srsly sucks lah. The whole orchestra sounded like it was in pieces omg. And I screwed up at a few parts. =X Oh well, such an informal performance I dont think the audience cares. And it's not like they can hear the mistakes lol. =D

But arghhhhhhhh we missed the grand light up!! D= Super sad lah. We were like rushing rushing in order not to miss it but still did in the end. =( And we lost our lightsticks I think someone cleared them when clearing up our holding area. SIGH. =( So after that tanbo had a failed attempt at getting a tanbo photo so we split up. I headed to find s74 and tried to contact my mum to no avail. -.-

Went up to reading room, ventured in and finally met s74 peeps. The whole reading room was soooo crowded. Managed to find my sis and she asked me to go find mum. Koped some mooncake and tea and escaped w Ziyan and Kimyung to find my mum. Had a hard time hearing her through the phone coz the whole place was so noisy and she got kinda pissed. I think she kept on shouting but wasnt speaking into the phone coz sometimes I could hear her and sometimes couldnt lol. Or maybe my hearing is just bad. =X After a while managed to find her w my eldest sis and directed her to the reading room where I think she was happier haha since there were stuff for her to do lol. =)

After a while Kimyung had to go. =( So she missed SoDaChe altogether. Then Ziyan and I just wondered abt, being lame and high by ourselves haha. I bought a 1buck wish at the 许愿池 at the fountain there. Haha wished to pass promos and some other random stuff. x)

Ok I just realised something which makes me feel totally stupid ARGHHH.

Right so I spent SoDaChe w Ziyan and Kexin's class coz we couldnt find s74 peeps. And Yann had to leave halfway through so I was left w/o a dance partner. =( Left the "dancing arena" and walked 1 whole big round arnd it, trying to see if there's anyone I knew who was free to dance w me haha. Sadly couldnt find anyone so I just spent the rest of the time watching people dance from the right wing. =( Arghhh so sad can. Oh well. Next time I'll make sure my partner can stay throughout haha.

Reached home at arnd 10.20pm and caught Van Helsing on teevee. =D [well, some of it anyway. haha.]
You know everytime I use contact lens I'll feel sad when I have to take them off coz it's another pair wasted. Hah.

This post is so messed up. My thoughts are in a complete mess. =(
WMP keeps on playing songs tt doesnt suit my mood so I keep on having to change it. Whyyyyy is everything going against me?!
Oh well. Bio tutorial here I come!

Paging for Mr. Motivation

2009-09-16T22:08:00.001+08:00

Hello.
Pls MUGG.
=(

2.5weeks left.

Hide that tear-stained face

2009-09-08T11:45:00.000+08:00

Today's prolly the worst day I've had in a long time.
Sure, for quite a prolonged period of time there's been more than a few problems haunting me.
But this morning the first thing I did when I woke up was to have a terrible disagreement w my parents. It was over smth small alright. But it brought to light the vast difference in our opinions and beliefs. And also the fact that both sides refuse to compromise, refuse to listen, refuse to accept.
And me, being ever so stupidly stubborn, am letting myself get distracted. Willingly.
Wth.

Conflict.

It doesnt help that I've been accused of being a liar, out of all things.

I think I found out an addition "things I hate" to add to my list.
I thought abt it and realised that I would get super irritated if people touch my comp w/o my permission. It's ok for other stuff but my comp is an exception.
Sounds materialistic and stupid? I think so.
But so what.

I dont like life the way it is now.
I'm angry.

Teachers' Day 09

2009-08-31T15:09:00.002+08:00

Ok today isnt Sept 1st yet but haha since there's celebrations this morning and I'm alrdy in the mood, might as well just treat it like the real day right? =)
Happy Teachers' Day to all teachers out there! =D

Today was.. Both good and bad at the same time haha. Let me recount.
Started off quitely terribly in the (wee hours of the) morning coz I slept super late. At 3.30am to be exact. Haha I did econs essay until it was past my "sleepy" time so I ended up not feeling sleepy at all. Not to mention the constant stream of smses from Yann and MelWee causing me to stay quite awake haha.
Yep so I slept (really) late and since I had to wake up at 5am, I only slept a grand total of 1.5hours. -.- Wasnt rlly feeling sleepy although there were some problems waking up haha. Left house 5mins later than usual and missed my usual bus so ended up taking MRT which made me rlly grumpy coz I was counting on the 40mins worth of sleep on 174 hehe. Met Qiming at the MRT station and talked abit before Zhuoda came along and scared him away haha! x) No lah jk. Zhuoda isnt tt scary SOMETIMES. xD so we MRTed to Bukit Batok and I managed to sleep ABIT on 852.
Oh on the train Zhuoda was saying tt actly my arm is full of muscles instead of fats. And I totally agree w her haha. But although not having so much fats is a good thing, it isnt exactly worth celebrating tt I have so much muscles. T_T Oh well. Muscles are better I guess. Oh and we were discussing about our sleeping habits and I was telling her tt w the way I'm living my lifestyle I'm gonna die quite early lol. She told me I shld change but I said I dont feel like. ~~Maybe dying early isnt so bad haha, as long as it's not too early.~~ =X

Right so we reached school and had combined assembly. Since the J2s werent there we were moved to another position which was much nearer to the flag posts and haha it felt a bit weird to me lol. After that was mass dance! I dont know why people dont see the fun in mass dance. As in, it srsly isnt fun when dancing alone. But if everyone is willing to just get high tgt it's rlly fun. What happened to all that craziness during orientation? =( Oh well, so anyway Yann, Rachel, Yisheng and me went to dance. Haha when we went into the Central Plaza I saw CottonWood and his partner and my mind blanked out totally (I realise this has been happening quite often recently lol) and I couldnt do anything but go *GASP*
Haha Yann thought I saw Highlighter or smth and she was asking me who it was but I couldnt do anything but hyperventilate. She turned arnd and saw what I saw and instead of helping me, she started hyperventilating too HAHA. xD I think our reactions were srsly funny lol! We got rlly high then and did the mass dance. After that we proceeded to the audi for tchrs' day celebrations concert. I think the concert was great! =) Rlly interesting items like yoyo and beatboxing, and the emcees were rlly entertaining haha. =D Oh and I didnt realise Guitar Ensem actly sounds like this lol. Quite diff frm guitar solo. =) I think the Malay Dance was abit scary. =X Oh well, I nvr rlly liked masks in the first place.

After the concert I didnt feel like going home but I couldnt find anyone to go anywhere else w me. Ended up trooping to the staff room w ChinKiat, Theresa and Michelle to give the tchrs their respective gifts haha. =) And I found out that it's actly possible to get LOST in the staff room lol. After finishing distributing the gifts, I was once left w nobody to accompany me. =( Was somehow quite sad to think that I'm not at the same pace w anybody else. Oh well. Ended up waiting for Auntie and SunRan to lunch w me at 12 coz they had Math consultation and I attemtpted GP hw. D= Went to coro to eat chicken rice after which I decided to just head home while the both of them set off for Chinatown.

Met Siquan on the bus and said Hi but I think I was abit rude when I just went to sit down w/o saying anything else to him. I wonder if I shldve chatted to him or at least tell him tt I'm going to sit down. But on the other hand I wasnt even sure if he wanted to talk to me. =( Oh well haha. No point worrying abt it anyways.

Bought bread from Jurong Point for tmr's breakfast and treated myself to a super nice chocolate waffle. =P Sinful omg. =X Haha. After that I went to buy bus concession at the interchange and the person had to give my SO MUCH COINS I couldnt handle all of them and ended causing a jam in the line. =X So malu omg. And I heard the auntie behind me go "tsk!". =( Sighh.. So loserish.

Oh ya I forgot to mention that I smsed Mr Chiang and Mr Paul Tan to wish them happy tchrs' day too. =D Found out that Mr Chiang now teaches in ACSI haha. Extreme changes in environment ya. x) And PTan actly said "nice to hear frm you Ng Cai Tong!" -.- I wonder why there was a need to spell out my full name, w caps somemore lol. And he said "thanks for remembering d old man. :P" LOL. Haha both of them are so nice srsly. =)

Ok I shld go do my work.
Oh btw 2 nights ago I watched this movie called The Butterfly Effect on youtube. =) It's rlly nice and kind thought provoking although sometimes I was creeped out by the idea behind it. =S

And this song has been stuck in my head for the whole day haha. =)

Inconsolable - Backstreet Boy

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Filmed like a scene on the cutting room floor
I'm gonna let you walk away tonight
Without a word

I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling, ohh
If you were here right now, I swear,
I´d tell you this

Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you (to you)
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I climb the walls
I can see the edge but I can't take the fall, no
I've memorized the number
So why can't I make the call
Maybe 'cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibilities

Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you (to you)
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

Oh.. no no
I don't want to be like this
I just want to let you know
That everything that I'm holding
Is everything I can't let go
Can't let go... yeah

Cause baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you (to you)
To you (to you)
I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

Don't you know it baby
I don't want to waste another day

I'm wishing I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable